North Carolina

Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.

–Fort Macon, North Carolina

Overheard by: El Gee

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad

Trucker: Well, it’s a Mercury Sable, but that really doesn’t matter. It’s essential that you call me El Conquistador.

–Outer Banks, North Carolina

Overheard by: Just trying to keep in touch with the rest

58-year-old woman: I executed 23 successful ops in my Utopia game last night.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Mom to three-year-old boy: Don’t you run into the ocean. It’s cold. If you start drowning, no one is going to want to come in and save you!

–Topsail Island, North Carolina

Overheard by: Eric

Teen boy #1: Yeah, and then there’s the what-do-you-call-its — those Doritos X-13-D or whatever — where you name the flavor.
Teen boy #2: Haha, yeah. They probably just, like, mixed ingredients or something and didn’t know what to call it.
Teen boy #1: All I know is it tasted like Dijon mustard and chicken Ramen noodles.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J

Dude: I didn’t steal the Bentley. I hijacked it.
Girl: [Slaps him.]

–Oean Isle, North Carolina

Shopping woman #1: I really like the crabs.
Shopping woman #2: Oh, me too. The crabs are great.

–Duck, North Carolina

Overheard by: Better you than me

Small child, screaming: Do you have a boat?
Man in giant boat off shore: Yes.

–North Carolina

Overheard by: jen

Chick #1: So, what happened to you last night?
Chick #2: Um, I died.

–The Coffeehouse, Manteo, North Carolina