North Carolina

Bald man to baby on blanket (in baby voice): Do you have somethin' to say? Are you thinkin'? Are you thinkin'? Yes you are.
Woman next to him: He's pooping.
Bald man: Are you poopin'? Are you poopin'? Yes you are!

–Sunset Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Emma

Girl: It’s so nice out today. I love natural wind.

–Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

Overheard by: Lindsay

Tourist: What a beautiful day! If it were a girl I’d take her home and eat her pussy out all night!

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Child: Mommy, how old are you?
Mother: I am forty.
Child: [counting on fingers] Jeez, Mommy, you’re running out of numbers.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Girl waiting for busy elevator: I hate this elevator! It always takes so long. They should just make one go up and the other go down.

–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Smithra

Beach patrol: Ma’am, I am going to have to ask you to put on your top. This is not a “clothing optional” beach.
Man sitting with topless woman: Leave her alone. She is trying to get a full body tan.
Beach patrol: Sir, I think you are asking quite a bit from the sun.

–Fort Macon, North Carolina

Overheard by: El Gee

Tween girl: Daddy, why aren’t there ever any black people at this beach?
Dad: Well, I’m not sure, but I think they don’t care for water and the sun.

–Carolina Beach, North Carolina

Overheard by: Chad

Trucker: Well, it’s a Mercury Sable, but that really doesn’t matter. It’s essential that you call me El Conquistador.

–Outer Banks, North Carolina

Overheard by: Just trying to keep in touch with the rest

58-year-old woman: I executed 23 successful ops in my Utopia game last night.

–Holden Beach, North Carolina

Mom to three-year-old boy: Don’t you run into the ocean. It’s cold. If you start drowning, no one is going to want to come in and save you!

–Topsail Island, North Carolina

Overheard by: Eric