Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: gunky
Parent: Joshua, no! Don’t touch the sand! No! No! No! Put it down! Joshua! Don’t touch the sand!
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: gunky
10-year-old boy: My mom is such a fucking slut.
–Malibu, California
Overheard by: nicole
Man on phone: How about I stick my penis in your vagina?
Woman on the other end of the phone, loudly: How bout…no.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: couldn't contain
Homeless guy to guy with extremely long hair: Oh my god! Is that hair real?
Guy with extremely long hair: Yes.
Homeless guy: Oh my god! I'm a midget!
–Santa Cruz, California
Guy: Can you pass the ChapStick? Because “lip gloss” has the taint.
–Cambria, California
Overheard by: nadia
Woman: Is there anything we haven’t done yet?
Man: I haven’t fucked you with an electric toothbrush.
Woman: You’re sick.
–Santa Cruz, California
Tourist: How do I get to the beach?
Local #1: Get on the 8 and go east.
Tourist: Thanks.
(tourist leaves)
Local #2: You're sending her east.
Local #1: Fuck her, she didn't say which beach.
–Pacific Beach, California
Obnoxiously drunk ho as she leans on bro for support: Don't even think about thinking!
–Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Dude: That’s why they call me ‘the Titanic.’
Chick: They don’t call you ‘the Titanic.’
–Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: Ana
American: Hey, you're from Australia, right?
Australian: Yeah. I'm just here on holiday.
American: Right. I thought you had an Aussie accent. So you're not familiar with cars, hey? It's all about kangaroos where you come from?
Australian, laughing: Yep… that's right.
–California
