Penis

20-something guy, imitating his girlfriend: Rub my back! Put your dick in me! Me, me, me!

–Santa Monica Beach, California

Overheard by: Diana

Worried surfer: I’ve been out here four hours and my knob still hasn’t changed color!

–Coogee Beach, Sydney, Australia

Small girl: I want to see a penis.
Father: What?
Small girl: Mommy said we go to the beach to see lots of penises because there are none at home.

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Total Observer

Little boy, pointing to large drawing of a penis in the sand: Oh my God, that is disgusting. Dad, look, it’s disgusting!! Dad, do you know what it is?
Dad: Yes.

Mom walks over.

Mom: What is it?

–Popham Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Fitzy

Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?

–Wellfleet, Massachusetts

Little girl, pointing to man in Speedo: Mom, what’s that?
Mother: That’s his swimsuit.
Little girl: No, what’s in his swimsuit?

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Teen boy: … And you’re so racist.
Teen girl: I’m really not.
Teen boy: It’s okay. I find it sexy.

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Api

Girl to boy showing a picture: This is for Valentine's Day.
Boy: Umm… That's really disturbing, is it a bouquet of penises?
Girl: It's not disturbing! It's for Valentine's. (pause) Wait, did you just say “penises”?

–Tampa, Florida

Redhead: Holy shit! A penis!
Blonde: What?

–Boardwalk, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Boots

Guy: I don't understand that song. I mean, how can hips not lie? That's like saying, “my nipples don't argue.”
Friend: Well, my cock never complains.

–Sandy Hook, New Jersey

Overheard by: raerae