Penis

20-something guy, screaming to total stranger: My dick is, like, totally swollen, bro!

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Nic

Girl: Hey, Daddy, look, I am riding a giant sand penis.
Daddy: I really don’t want to ever hear you say that again.
Girl: Daddy, do you want to ride the giant sand penis?

–Biloxi, Mississippi

Overheard by: Lori Lou Who

Guy: My dick has no boundaries.

–Miami, Florida

Guy: My dick has no boundaries.

–Miami, Florida

Bikini babe: She’s had sex before… but… like… only strap-on sex. So she’s totally a fake lesbian ’cause she still likes dick!

–Anna Bananas, Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: just getting some beers

Guy to daughter: Okay, here's one: Oink, oink!
Daughter: That's a pig!
Guy: Cock-a-doodle-do!
Daughter: That's a…morning chicken.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Here4theLaughs

Girl #1: But you were dancing with that guy…
Girl #2: Which guy?
Girl #1: The guy with the hard-on.
Girl #2: Which one?

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Ladle

Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.

–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Blonde girl: Oh… I had sex with your brother last night.
Brunette girl: Oh, yeah?
Blonde girl: He has a huge cock.
Brunette girl: Oh my god! I know!
Blonde girl: Too bad he has herpes.
Brunette girl: I know…

–Burlington Beach, Ontario, Canadia

Overheard by: Alrighty…..

Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!

–Discovery Bay, California