Maryland

Early-20s chick: I mean, I love my dad as a father and a friend, but, like, definitely not as a husband.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: awesome is as awesome does

Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!

Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.

Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??

–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair

Frat guy #1: So he was dating her for a whole month before he realized she was a tranny. Even had sex with her twice, no clue.
Frat guy #2: There's no way he didn't know!
Frat guy #1: Well, he was drunk. And you went out with her before he did, so who are you to talk?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: The WC

Thin girl ordering funnel cake: I want so much powdered sugar on it that I don't want to be able to see the dough!

–Ocean City, Maryland

Ugly girl to hot friends: No, I want to have sex… I’m just not liking my odds right now.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: K

Overweight mother: I don't want to be a gladiator!

–Ocean City, Maryland

Blonde teen to hot dog vendor: How long are your foot-long hot dogs?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Hungry-Man-on-the-Beach

College guy: Were you in the Airborne?
Guy in wheelchair wearing ‘Army Airborne’ hat and playing guitar for money: No, but the hat helps on holiday weekends.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: dr. obvious

Gangsta kid to girl, on date: You see this spot right here? This is where Forrest Gump…stopped runnin'!
Girl, in disbelief: No way!

–Ocean City Boardwalk, Maryland

Overheard by: Tyler