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Teen #1: So he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh," and I’m like, "um… uh huh," and he’s like, "nuh uh."
Teen #2: No way!
Teen #1: Way.

–Golden Gardens, Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Translater Please!

Small boy, carrying bag: Fudge! The wonderful joy of fudge!

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Tourist mom to kids, upon seeing dolphins: Get out of the water! Go, now! Get out! [After seeing everyone else getting in and swimming out.] Never mind, get back in.

–Treasure Island, Florida

Overheard by: Native Floridian

Dude stopping intense make-out: Um, you’re not gonna tell anyone about this…
Chick: What?!
Dude: Well, I mean, look at you…
Chick: I’m going to tell your mom about this.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Mik

Woman: Do you think Otto* will get a complex because everyone always says "good dog" to him?
Man: I don’t think he cares.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: downtown

Smart guy: The ocean would be so much better if there wasn’t salt in it. Then it’d be perfect.

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: shawshank

Chick: Fifteen hundred isn’t a lot. That’s like a thousand… and five hundred.

–Good Harbor Beach, Gloucester, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Alexis

Daughter: Thanks for giving me an aneurysm, Mom.
Mother, under her breath: I wish I’d given you an aneurysm.
Daughter: What?
Mother: Nothing, dear.

–Sea Isle City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Cols

Perfect guido #1, intensely: Yo, bro, there is no way dat your granmudda’s meatballs are better dan my granmudda’s meatballs.
Perfect guido #2: Alright, bro, I’ll give you dat much. But my granmudda’s marinara sauce will blow your granmudda’s outta da saucepan.

–Jones Beach, New York

Bimbette: What is it about the beach that attracts sunlight?
Guy: Attracts sunlight?
Bimbette: Yeah, it’s always sunnier at the beach.
Guy: Uh, maybe you need to sit in the shade for a while.

–Sandy Point State Park, Maryland