Girl: So, when Daddy said that his girlfriend was coming to stay the night it was a bad thing?
Mother: Yes, dear.
Girl: Does this mean I get two Christmases and two birthdays, like Ashlee?
–Parua Bay, New Zealand
Overheard by: naughtygurl
Girl: So, when Daddy said that his girlfriend was coming to stay the night it was a bad thing?
Mother: Yes, dear.
Girl: Does this mean I get two Christmases and two birthdays, like Ashlee?
–Parua Bay, New Zealand
Overheard by: naughtygurl
Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I'm not drinking for Ramadan.
–Auckland, New Zealand
Small boy gazing in awe: All the tooshie…
–Caroline Bay, Timaru, New Zealand
Overheard by: [LadyFlash]
Drunk guy to others: Imagine how long it would take to fuck a spider. It would take ages!
–Dunedin, New Zealand
Daughter to mother: You yell at me for saying ‘munted,’ ‘fucked,’ ‘wasted,’ and ‘shafted,’ because you say they all mean ‘having sex.’ So for the love of god, when you tell that story will you stop saying you were ‘stiffed’ by an old lady?!
–New Zealand
Little girl: If a pig spits in your eye, you'll get the flu.
–Takapuna Beach, Auckland, New Zealand
20-something girl on cell: The baby-changing room?! That's horrid!
–Interislander Ferry, New Zealand
Overheard by: Sally
Young male Australian tourist on cell: We've already been to a service station and a McDonald's, which is different.
–Rotorua, New Zealand
Overheard by: exactly how different to McDonald's in Australia?
Old lady: This isn’t a nude beach!
Young lady, sunbathing topless and feigning surprise: Oh, really? Oh, okay…
–Auckland, New Zealand
Overheard by: Shakira
Man, hearing seagulls: Wolves!
–Upper Hutt, New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
