White people

White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s

Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: kgw

American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!

–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas

Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist

Man to family: You should have seen her! She was pooping sandcastles!

–Jersey Shore, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chris

Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn’t fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I’d let him in right in me, yeah I would!

–Santa Cruz, California

White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?

–Santa Monica Pier, California

Overheard by: Ann

White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That’s why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.

–Deerfield Beach, Florida

Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…

–Seal Beach, California

Lady: I am completely at peace with my salad.

–Manteo, North Carolina

Overheard by: Sarah J