White people

Skinny white guy: I think I need to go sit in the shade for a while.
Skinny less-white guy: What?! If you are going to talk crazy, I need you to be drunk.

–Will Rogers Beach, Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Panda

White teen girl #1: The first rule of being white is never admitting that you’re white.
White teen girl #2: Oh! I never admit that!

–Avon Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: NotFromJersey

White girl #1: I can feel the sun eating away my paleness!
White girl #2: I was going to say I can feel the sun busting apart my DNA…

–Caye Caulker, Belize

White girl to black friend: Why do black people wear colored skinny jeans?
Black girl: So when it's dark you can see them.

–Tampa, Florida

Black guy to puking white guy: Yup, I know what that's like. I do that every morning, brother!

–Long Beach, Long Island, New York

White muscle head to black muscle head friend: Hey, bro! You got tan! How’d you do that?

–Robert Moses State Park, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Cara

White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.

–South Beach, Miami, Florida

Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s

Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: kgw

American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!

–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas

Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist