White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
White girl: So, what are you doing in Miami?
Black guy: We’re here for the pussy.
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s
Waspy overexcited college guy: And then after? Can we suck helium? Please!
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: kgw
American tourist, to black islander carving a sculpture from a log: You people are so talented!
–Straw Market, Nassau, Bahamas
Overheard by: Dumbfounded Tourist
Man to family: You should have seen her! She was pooping sandcastles!
–Jersey Shore, New Jersey
Overheard by: Chris
Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn’t fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I’d let him in right in me, yeah I would!
–Santa Cruz, California
White guy to Asian girl made up like Thai hooker: Hey, are you waiting for me?
–Santa Monica Pier, California
Overheard by: Ann
White girl, reviewing nude pictures of Hispanic girl: That’s why I would hate to be darker. Her vagina looks dirty.
–Deerfield Beach, Florida
Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…
–Seal Beach, California
Lady: I am completely at peace with my salad.
–Manteo, North Carolina
Overheard by: Sarah J