Brazil

Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe.

–Brazil

Overheard by: living with morons

Cute surfer: So, how’s it going? Did you go out with her again?
Really cute surfer: Oh, no, she’s traveling, but I’m waiting for her to come back.
Cute surfer: You’re really into her, right? I thinks she’s hot.
Really cute surfer: Yeah, she’s amazing.
Cute surfer: Have you, like, talked to her about going out again?
Really cute surfer: Yeah, kinda… [Looking away and waving] Hey, dude, stop talking about it. My girlfriend is coming.
Cute surfer: Oh, okay [smiles and waves to girl].

–Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: And I thought he was cute

Girl #1: So…plans for tonight?
Girl #2: Yeah, actually. I'm going out with Beto. He just moved to Niterói with his boyfriend.
Girl #1: Wait. What? His *boyfriend*? So he finally came out, eh?
Girl #2: Well…he didn't come out per se. He just said, “So, this is my boyfriend, Bruno.”

–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Friend #1: You know who's really hot? Megan Fox.
Friend #2 (in nonchalant agreement): Yeah, she's really hot. (more excitedly) You know who else is hot?
Friend #1: Who?
Friend #2: That brunette chick from the Transformers movie–damn.
Friend #1: Megan Fox?
Friend #2: Oh.

–Guarujá, São Paulo, Brazil

Tourist girl #1: Wow! Check out the package on that guy!
Tourist girl #2: What? He's not holding anything.
Tourist girl #1: I meant his dick!

–Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: Fernanda

Tourist wife: Look at their butts. These bikinis are too small…Honey? Did you hear me?
Tourist husband: Huh?
Tourist wife: My point exactly.

–Ipanema Beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!

–Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

Guy #1: I can’t believe you did that! How could you? After all this time! I thought I knew you!
Guy #2, very loudly: It’s my butt and it’s gonna be fucked if I want it to!

–Enseada Beach, Brazil

Overheard by: Natasha

Daughter: Sorry I’m late.
Mom: That’s okay. We were playing ‘Tourist or not?’ with the passersby. Look — those two — obviously tourists.
Daughter: Oh, kinda like when I play ‘Jew or not?’ when I get bored.

–Ipanema, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

Overheard by: Jew tourist