Woman #1: Honey, I think I need a bigger size. Somethin’ to hold some considerable inches…What did you get?
Woman #2: A twelve.
Woman #1: Ooh, I don’t have that many inches.
Woman #2: Bitch.

–Swim Shop, Passagrille, Florida

Woman #1: Italian men make the best lovers.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: They have lots of stamina. They last longer and their penises are bigger.
Woman #2: What’s the opposite of that?

–Wellfleet, Massachusetts

Teen girl #1: Yeah, he would be cute if he had better teeth.
Teen girl #2: Or a smaller nose.
Teen girl #3: He'd be cute if he was completely different.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Loud woman, about sting rays: They have a six-foot wingspan of five to six feet.

–Sea Life Park, Honolulu, Hawaii

Teenage girl: I know, he has the most beautiful eyes and this insanely hot body and I'm sad because his girlfriend has this really big forehead!

–Jones Beach, New York

Overheard by: sara swank

Woman walker #1: I would never go out with him–his head is huge, his clothes are always wrinkled, and he doesn't shower.
Woman walker #2: Ugh.
Woman walker #1: Besides, he smokes.
Woman walker #2: But you smoke, too!
Woman walker #1: I know, but I never date smokers.

–Lake Miramar, California

Overheard by: El Meech

New Jersey Guido: His nipples were as big as clouds…

–Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Peter Butter and Gina Jam

Four-year-old girl (disappointed, looking at a jellyfish): I've never seen one of these before…but I thought it would be longer.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: I Was Surprised Too

Ghetto black girl, about Lil Wayne: Nah, I wouldn't fuck him, he too short!
Ghetto white girl: Shit, he short but I bet he know the motion of the ocean! You know he do! I'd let him in right in me, yeah I would!

–Santa Cruz, California

Granddaughter: Did you have fun in Hong Kong?
Grandma: Well, yes, there was a lot of Asian food.
Grandpa: And the people were all shorter than you!
Granddaughter: Really…

–Jetty Road, Glenelg, Australia