Physical Appearance

Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god.

–Lake Ontario, New York

Young guy in floral: Are you supposed to wear underwear under these things?
Friend in plaid: I mean, you don't have to… but I do.

–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York

Old short man: When was the last time you were with an old and short man?
19-year-old girl: (silence)

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Stephanie Wall

Jogging man to jogging woman: I still have a jiggling six-pack.

–English Bay, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: if it's jiggling, it ain't no six-pack

Girl to friends on boardwalk: Were you there when that naked guy walked into the shower?!

–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: BGonz

Girl #1: We need shade. I don't want to get burned.
Girl #2: Wha'd she say?
Girl #3: She says she's gonna be a little bitch.

–Playa Mia, Mexico

Overheard by: Peeto

70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?

–Palm Coast, Florida

Guy looking in the water: What’s that?
Girl: Dunno, a hat?
Guy: Looks like a taxi driver’s hat.
Girl: His body will wash up soon enough.

–Stoney Beach, Maryland

Overheard by: MonicaIsWayRad

Creepster: Her dad says I’m too old to be hitting on a 13-year-old girl, so I do the math. But if you let them get their belly button pierced, they are going to get attention.

–St. Simon’s Island, Georgia

Overheard by: Dragoman

Guy #1: Look at that girl over there! Now if that isn’t hot, I don’t know what is.
Guy #2: Don’t even dream about it! She’s at least a nine.
Guy #1: Well, then, I’ll just go over and talk to her, and when we start making out, you can cry yourself to sleep.

A guy with a beer walks over and kisses her.

Guy #1: Well played, sir.

–Boardwalk, Jones Beach, New York