Sports

Redneck girl: Frank was out fishing with the guy who drowned yesterday.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he try to save him?
Redneck girl: No, he was fishing — I told you. He thought he had one on the line.
Redneck boyfriend: Did he?
Redneck girl: No, it was just the water.
Redneck boyfriend: I thought you were gonna say it was the guy who drowned.

–Holland State Park, Michigan

Overheard by: Townie

50‐something to friend: I’ve been married so long I can row a boat with a rope.

–Horseshoe Beach, Florida

High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

High school girl #1: Wait, Muhammad Ali the boxer or the dictator?
High school girl #2: What planet do you come from where Muhammad Ali is a dictator?
High school girl #1: Florida.

–West Palm Beach, Florida

Man #1, hanging up cell: By the volleyball net? You can’t find anyone at this beach by telling them “I’m by the volleyball net.” That’s like going downtown and telling someone “I’m by the pizza place.”
Man #2: Or, “I’m by the hobo.”

–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: Emimac

Walker #1: So I think I am going to train for the LA marathon.
Walker #2: Really? What’s the cause?
Walker #1: Well, it’s for AIDS. Not that I have AIDS, nor know anyone who does.
Walker #2: Yeah, well, we all know AIDS is bad.

–Olympic & La Cienega Park, Los Angeles, California

Girl playing volleyball, as guy switches to her teach to even up sides: I promise we won’t suck too much…

–Adelaide, Australia

Mother to daughter reading a running magazine: Which is harder, running on a treadmill…
Daughter, yelling: Your mum!

–Tampa, Florida

Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…

–Pacific Beach, California

Out‐of‐shape 50‐something customer: I don’t know, the guys I see riding fixed‐gear bikes are in really good shape.
20‐something bike salesman: That shouldn’t intimidate you; it should inspire you.

–Sag Harbor, New York

Overheard by: the lerpa