On the phone

Lady on cell: And sushi (points at her chihuahua) stops to look for you, but I tell her you're at work and she laughs.

–Tamarama Beach, Australia

Overheard by: GGary

Excited teenage girl on cell: Dude, that’s so beat!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Tim

Unshaven surfer on cell: No, no, no! Do you want me to bring Schnitzel?

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Harell

Fake tanned, bleach blonde woman loudly into phone: I mean, have you seen Alice lately? Forget the Brazilian wax, she needs to have the whole South American!

–Manly Beach, Sydney

Overheard by: anotherpassenger

Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

Teen girl on cell: It doesn't have feces in it?

–Malibu, California

Conservative mom on cell: Julia, you just can’t bring your kids here and let them swim naked… What? Yes, Julia, it’s illegal.

–51st Street, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Unexpecting Beach Reader

Girl on phone: I have good news and bad news! The good news is I'm not pregnant. The bad news is I need new jeans!

–San Diego, California

Overheard by: Grossed out but laughing

Chick on cell: Yeah, we got a ticket for going 80 miles per hour on the way here, though. Wanna know why? We were trying to catch up to a giant truck full of chickens!

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: K