Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Teen #1: Is he white?
Teen #2: Yes.
Teen #1: …Wait, does that count Michael Jackson?
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
Teenage girl: Rosie O'Donnell has multiple personality disorder.
Friend: I thought she was a lesbian.
–Starbucks, La Jolla, California
Overheard by: …Which are mutually exclusive.
Little boy's brother: Why are you screaming?
Little boy: Because I'm Hillary Clinton!
–Drift Inn Beach, Port Clyde, Maine
Overheard by: Sara
Teen bimbette: So I heard about this new band that just came out. The lead singer is really cute… they’re called The Doors.
–South California
Woman: Is that where George Bush lives?
Man: No, you can’t see it from here.
Woman: I bet you could see it with binoculars or something.
Man: Doubt it.
Woman: Why do you always shut me down when I have an opinion? I’m entitled to it! How do you know you couldn’t see George Bush’s house from here?
Man: There’s an island in the way.
–Kennebunk Beach, Maine
Teenage girl: Rob Lowe is ridiculously hot. Hey, did you know he has a sex tape?
Girl's mother: Yes, I did know that because I starred in it with him. And he was good.
–Biloxi, Mississippi
Girl #1: Oh my god, that guy looks just like Kevin Spacey!
Girl #2: I told you he was stalking me…
–Lake Michigan Shoreline, Michigan
Amateur musicologist: Paul McCartney had a band before Wings?
–Phoenix, Arizona
Local guy: Ted Kennedy hit my car and just drove off. But, you know, that guy’s always been so arrogant.
–Nantucket, Massachusetts
Mom #1 (watching her boy): We originally chose the name Eric, but now I'm thinking we should just call him Rick.
Mom #2: But then he would be… Rick James?
Mom #1: Yes. I think it suits him better.
Little boy (running by): I'm Rick James, bitch!
Mom #1: Maybe we should just stay with Eric.
–Baker Beach, San Francisco