Honestly, Is There Any Milk in a "Milkshake?"

Bimbo #1, happily: It's so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Emmy

Posted on January 14, 2024
Bimbettes, Violence, Virginia, Weirdness

So I Only Hurt Myself

Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.

–Beaufort, South Carolina

Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….

Posted on December 7, 2023
Compare and contrast, Drunks, Fashion, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Physical Appearance, Questions, South Carolina, Sports, Violence

I Think I've Seen This Vin Diesel Family Comedy…

Postman on cell: Yeah, I'm not a street gangsta–but I'm a gangsta in the house. I hold that shit down. Anybody can be all tough in the streets, but me, I got the house on lock.

–Rockaway Beach, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

Posted on November 20, 2023
Assholes, Compare and contrast, Creepsters, Family, New York, On the phone, Relationships, Threats, Thugs, Violence, Weirdness

It Isn't the Bronx, Sweetie.

Kayaking girl #1: Mom, where do we go?
Kayaking mom: Oh, why don't we go to the other side of the island?
Kayaking girl #2: No, we can't! I heard they had guns and spears over there–I don't wanna get shot!

–Sugarbay, St. Thomas, South Africa

Overheard by: yams

Posted on November 17, 2023
Family, Moms, Offers and requests, Questions, Should've used a condom, Violence, Wishes

The Pool's on the Haitian Side Of the Border

Mom to screaming eight-year-old boy: I'm going to throw you in the pool if you don't behave.
Eight-year-old boy: Are you crazy? I'll get an ear infection!

–Resort Restaurant, Dominican Republic

Overheard by: Tanya from NY

Posted on October 16, 2023
Dominican Republic, Health & Hygiene, Moms, Should've used a condom, Threats, Violence

Instead of Setting Daddy on Fire, Like Usual

Four-year-old girl: Daddy! Why did you knock over my sandcastle?!
Dad: Because you knocked over my sandcastle first.
(dad coolly turns to two-year-old son and begins playing with him)
Four-year-old girl, in hysterics: Daddy! I'm so angry at you!
Mom: Good honey, you're expressing your feelings really well.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Posted on September 27, 2023
Compliments, Dads, Family, Feelings, Kids, New Hampshire, Questions, Violence

How You Know a Baby's Too Old to Be Breast-feeding

Teen girl to friend: If you don't stop, I will punch you in the tits.

–Pacifica, California

Posted on September 20, 2023
Biotechs, California, Insults, Rack, Violence

I Did. You Look Fabulous.

Anorexic JAP #1: You look really good in that new swimsuit.
Anorexic JAP #2: I wish I could say the same to you, but you look a little pugdy around the hips.
Anorexic JAP #1: Why don’t you just do what I did? Lie.

–Palm Beach, Florida

Overheard by: JAP