30-ish guy #1: I see you’re sporting the side ponytail.
30-ish girl: Just for you!
30-ish guy #2: Yeah, I bet you’re gonna jack off to that side ponytail.
30-ish guy #1: No! I jack off to the idea of the side ponytail. They’re coming back, I tell ya!
–Summerfest, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: the only sober person there
Girl: Do you hipsters wear glasses?
Boy: Only if it's not necessary.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Paperback Writer
Man on cell: Oh my god, she did that, and I thought getting sand in my crack was bad…
–Atlantic Beach, North Carolina
Boy to friend: When she called I was in my room, naked, blow drying my body.
–Jones Beach, New York
Three-year-old girl with strong Southern accent: I am gonna get tattoos all over myself.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: james
Teen guy, to group of pretty girls: Oh my god, that wave was 6 foot 4. That's my height, I'm 6 foot 4!
–Cornwall, England
Overheard by: Beth
Frat boy to girl walking by and ignoring him: Is it because of my hair? Cause I'll change that!
–Mission Beach, San Diego, California
Dude #1: That girl is hot!
Dude #2: I’d like to duct tape her to a chair!
Dude #2’s girlfriend: You’re into that?
–Dewey Beach, Delaware
Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.
–Stalis, Crete
Overheard by: Another pale girl
Bell boy: I applied to be a dancer on a cruise ship, and I totally had the body for it. I had a six pack, borderline eight pack. Plus, I have a mango dick. What am I supposed to do with that now?
–Honolulu, Hawaii
