Preppy 30-something guy: I mean, all the clubs in Europe are naked clubs now. (pause) Seriously, like, everybody’s naked!

–Indian Wells Beach, New York

Preppy girl: So about this swine flu thing… like, who would want to have sex with a pig?

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Kermit

Incredibly preppy college student: Oh my god! We're on the bus! This is where the magic happens!

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Bemused High School Student

Preppy guy #1: God, this place totally sucks.
Preppy guy #2: No, it’s fine. You just need to embrace your inner boat person.
Preppy guy #1: Jeffy, I think these are motor boat people.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Spanish teen: Yo, mami, how ’bout I take a picture of me and you with that camera?
Preppy chick: How ’bout you’re not touching my camera?
Spanish teen: Oh, ouch! I’ll let you hold my phone. It’s worth lots!
Preppy chick: This camera is probably worth more than you are to your own mother.

–Bayfront Beach, Hamilton, Ontario, Canadia

Preppy girl: Just close your eyes and envision me as a black lab puppy.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Preppy white girl to black guy: You just jizzed on my arm and I don't even know you like that yet…

–Tampa, Florida