Old lady looking at 30-something lady with a pot belly: Oh, how nice! How far along are you?
30-something lady: I beg ya pardon?
Old lady, smiling: Well, when are you due honey? The baby!
30-something lady: I'm not pregnant! This is how I look!
–South Beach, Miami, Florida
Rented Segway guy with a helmet to another: You feel really cool, but you don't *look* really cool.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: byrneout
Drunk man: [Bumps into girl and puts his hand around her to move her aside.] Sorry.
Girl: Eww! You’re dirty!
Drunk man: C’mon, you know you like it!
Girl: Eww! [Drunk man walks away.] Call me!!
–Manhattan Beach, California
Overheard by: Snoog
Girl: I didn’t realize my nipples were dark until I went to sleep-away camp and the girls in my tent were like: “Um. Wow.” I went topless in Jamaica and they were, like, black when I came back.
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Colleen
Teenage girl: I hate my sister so much… She's so fat! And I just really hate fat people.
–Cedar Creek Beach, Nebraska
Perv #1: Dude, check out that girl!
Perv #2: Which one?
Perv #1: Over there, in the yellow suit!
Perv #2: What? She can’t be more than twelve!
Perv #1: Dude, I would totally do her!
Perv #2: You need help, man. She doesn’t even have tits.
Perv #1: I’m not a titty man.
Perv #2: Yeah, well, your boyfriend in prison will be glad to hear that.
–Island Beach State Park, New Jersey
Overheard by: Steve
Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god.
–Lake Ontario, New York
Young guy in floral: Are you supposed to wear underwear under these things?
Friend in plaid: I mean, you don't have to… but I do.
–Robert Moses, Long Island, New York
Old short man: When was the last time you were with an old and short man?
19-year-old girl: (silence)
–Old Orchard Beach, Maine
Overheard by: Stephanie Wall
Jogging man to jogging woman: I still have a jiggling six-pack.
–English Bay, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: if it's jiggling, it ain't no six-pack
