Girl #1: Ew, don’t swim in the water.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: ‘Cause fish have sex in it. Do you want to swallow fish sperm?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Izzie
Walking vendor: Oh, I know you! I fucked your sister on your front lawn! Your parents have a really bad grub problem. They should take care of that.
–Charlestown, Rhode Island
Woman: I really hate diets. I mean, I guess I could start smoking. But isn’t that bad for your lungs or something?
–Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: something like that
Man: Remember to say no to crack, Joseph. Okay?
Little boy: Huh?
–Indiana Dunes State Park, Indiana
Overheard by: Breet
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I’ll never swim again
Mother: Remember: when you have to use the bathroom at the beach, you go in the water, right?
Toddler: Okay, mommy.
–East Hampton, New York
Overheard by: I’ll never swim again
Teen boy #1: I think those girls look 14.
Teen boy #2: No, dude, they gotta be 16.
Teen boy #1: I am telling them I am 20.
Teen boy #2: I am 17.
Teen boy #1: No, dude, you got to use your fake age.
Teen boy #2: Man, that’s why you got game.
–Foster Avenue Beach, Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Jinx
College girl: Stop hitting on the nine‐year‐old, and let’s leave!
–Grand Bend, Ontario, Canadia
Asian guy: We should get some fish and chips.
Asian girl: Ooh, I love tartar sauce. It’s my favorite continent.
Asian guy: What?
–Steveston Pier, Richmond, British Columbia
