Mother, holding one son in the ocean and calling another on shore: See? The water's fantastic. You have nothing to worry about.
Four-year-old son, crying: I don't want to die here!
–Palm Beach, Aruba
Mother, holding one son in the ocean and calling another on shore: See? The water's fantastic. You have nothing to worry about.
Four-year-old son, crying: I don't want to die here!
–Palm Beach, Aruba
Fitness instructor, to participant complaining of leg cramps: Make sure you get a banana in you before you head to work.
–Crescent Bay Park, Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: JD
Seven-year-old: Dude, your sister needs hotter friends.
Friend: Well, there's the blond one.
Seven-year-old: What's her name?
Friend: I forget.
Seven-year-old: Dude! If they're hot, you remember their names!
–Ocean Beach, New Jersey
Kid in wave pool, to friend: No, you gotta jump up into the waves. Jump! Jump! No, jump up, not down!
–Splish Splash, Long Island, New York
Girl #1, looking at fake sex pills: You should get him this one: “One Large Dose of Lovin’.”
Girl #2: Bitch, it’s going to take more than some candy to get him to fuck me!
–Novelty shop, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
Mom to son as he runs off to play: Don’t touch the sand! Don’t touch the sand!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Jawdropped
Local dude, trying to get me to buy a jet-ski ride: You can drink and drive. It’s paradise!
–Paradise Island, The Bahamas
Overheard by: Drunken Swimmer
Girl #1: Look at that guy!
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one with the white thong!
Girl #2: [80-year-old guy bends over to pick up shell.] Look! The thong’s not white there!
Girl #1: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Young boy: Don't fire the rocket launcher until I can go and get it! I'm already down to my third layer of skin, cuz the rest of it burned off!
–Newport Beach, California
Overheard by: Narwhal
Tattooed dad to two-year-old daughter struggling to get on tricycle: Remember, sweetie, always get on from the left so you don't burn yourself on the exhaust pipe.
–Playground, Alameda, California
Overheard by: lith
