Advice

Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?

Little girl walking along shore doesn’t look at him.

Little boy: Hey! What’s your name?!

Little girl looks at boy but continues walking.

Little boy: What’s your name?! What’s your naaaaame?!
Mother of girl: It’s Jade.

Mother whispers to girl and points in boy’s direction, but girl continues walking in other direction.

Surfer dude: Yeah, kid, you can only expect more of that as you get older.

–Pomano Beach, Florida

Kid #1: Mama, have you seen the bad guy?
Mom: Not today.
Kid #1: Is he here?
Mom: I don’t think so, no.
Kid #2: Where is he?
Mom: Well, if you don’t look for him, you’re not gonna find him!

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: Jessica B.

Mother to five-year-old son: If anything happens get help from a lifeguard. Mommy's gonna be at the bar.

–Blizzard Beach, Disney World, Florida

Guy #1: Eh, to be honest, with as much as I’ve been laid, I’ve probably got a kid somewhere.
Guy #2: You need to practice safe sex. Put it in her pooper.

–Pismo Beach, California

Overheard by: Walking by in disbelief

Frantic Italian woman to toddler walking along shore: Stay away from the waves! Stay away from the waves!

–Seawatch Beach, Manasquan, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mimi

Mom to toddler: Do not take your bathing suit off! You can't walk around naked! We're not French!

–Ocean Beach, New Jersey

Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Harell

Mother: Go play with the other kids.
Little boy, reading comic book: I don't want to.
Mother: You're going to have fun! Mike, there's no “i” in “team”!
Little boy: No, but there's an “m” and an “e.”
Father: Well, shit! My kid's smart!

–St. Augustine Beach, Florida

Overheard by: nicky

Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Surfer: It’s questions like these that you have to look to the Bible for answers. Like, what would Jesus do in a line-up like this? He’d fuck people up, that’s what He’d do!

–Shell Beach, California

Overheard by: One of the masses in the line up