Bostonian #1: I was thinking I should try out for Saturday Night Live or somethin’.
Bostonian #2: Yeah, you should, Vin. You are funny!
Bostonian #1: Yeah, I know! I mean, who’s funnier than me? Except for, you know, comedians.
–South Beach, Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: luna
Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.
–Crane Beach, Massachusetts
Girl to friend: Oh my god, the Titanic was so sad. Her true love is poor, and then he dies.
–Crane Beach, Massachusetts
Blonde: Wait, do Jewish people burn or tan?
Meathead: Well, some are pasty and some are really dark.
Blonde: Yeah, ’cause, like, she’s Jewish and she gets a tan. I came into work the other day and my hair was curly, and everyone was like, ‘Whoa!’ But then I told them I’m half-Jewish, so they understood.
–Manchester by the Sea, Massachusetts
Overheard by: i burn and i’m not
Dude #1: So, apparently he died from consumption.
Dude #2: Oh, man, I would hate to die from constipation… I think I almost did, once.
Dude #3: Is that what happens when you get tuberculosis?
–Martha’s Vineyard, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Juan Dude
Dad to misbehaving child: Do you want chocolate or a slap?
–Nantasket Beach, Massachusetts
Little boy: Mommy, do you know this?
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: Do you know this?
Mom: What, honey? I know everything.
Little boy: You're crazy.
Mom: Yeah, I knew this.
–Provincetown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Just waiting for a lobster roll
Little boy, wearing a towel as a cape: I’m six! And six-year-old boys are full of poison! I’m gonna bite you! Rawrrr!
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lisita
Spin-doctor chick: Well, really I’ve only slept with three guys.
Realistic chick: Ha! It’s been way more than that. After your last year in college, you’d have to be up to six.
Spin-doctor chick: Yeah, but two of them were really bad and one was too drunk to finish, so those three don’t count.
–Nantucket, Massachusetts
Overheard by: silently smirking
Little girl: I’m Italian, so I don’t get sick.
–Mashpee, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jill
