Guys

Man #1: Man, I’ve got some sandy nuts. Sannndy nuuuts!
Man #2: Dude, shake it over there. You’re getting your nut-sand all over me.

–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California

Overheard by: Daryl

Guy: Hey, do you have any gum?
Annoying girl: Yeah, I do… You can't have this one, but you can have this kind. (pulls gum out of bra)
Guy: Ew! I don't want that! It's titty gum.
Annoying girl: It's not titty gum.
Brunette girl: You can have some of my gum.
Guy: Is it in your titties?
Brunette girl, looking down shirt. Nope.
Guy: Okay!

–Canadia

Dude in hot tub: Wait, we didn’t do it? So we aren’t in trouble?!

–Carnival Ecstasy cruise

Drunk guy to girl: Hey, heeeeey. Sometimes I think about dolphins.
Girl (annoyed): Okay…
Drunk guy: Yes! See, they have sex for pleasure, like humans.
(girl giggles and walks away with friends)

–Smith Mountain Lake, Virginia

30 something guy standing at bar: So she asked me if I had ever slept with a stripper.
Friend: What did you say?
30 something guy: I told her the truth… I said “yeah, I slept with a stripper, of course.”

–Austin, Texas

Pale tourist: Hey, do you have the time?
Bronzed local child: Sure, mister! It’s 12:45.
Pale tourist: Is that Eastern Standard Time?
Bronzed local child, sarcastically: No. It’s local time in Pango-Pango.

–North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: Geobaldi

Guy: Would you like something to wipe off with?
Girl: No, I prefer to be covered in sand and cum.
Guy: Great! Same time tomorrow?

–Hollywood, Florida

Overheard by: Miles Highclub

Small boy gazing in awe: All the tooshie…

–Caroline Bay, Timaru, New Zealand

Overheard by: [LadyFlash]

Boy: I think what you just said is racism.
Biotech: I’ll give you racism, you black bitch.

–Williamstown, Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: knee coal

Guy on cell: Did you just say you killed somebody?!

–Waikiki, Hawaii

Overheard by: gavin