Guys

Skater punk to another: Dude, seriously, fuck Picasso.

–Venice Beach, California

Teen boy: Yo, you’re hot. How old are you?
Girl: Eleven. But I’m turning twelve in three days.
Teen boy: … Bye.

–Emerald Isle, North Carolina

Guy #1: Dude, dude! Tits.
Guy #2: Where?

Guy #1 motions to a topless sunbather.

Guy #2: Dude. That’s a guy.

–Miami, Florida

Mother with accent, talking to grown son: David, blow up the raft!
David: No! Make dad do it!
Dad: You’re younger. You have more air in your lungs.
Sister: Dave, just blow up the raft.
David: No!
Mother: Son, shut up and finish the blow job.

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Overheard by: anna

Wet teen boy #1, rubbing eyes: My eyes hurt.
Wet teen boy #2: From the salt?
Wet teen boy #1: Nah. I’ve been outside for two days. They’re used to video game light only.

–Bradley Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: long time mom

Old hairy guy: Welcome to the Pacific Ocean!
Dumb blonde: Huh? The ocean? I thought you said we were going to the beach!

–Beverly Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: please tell me she’s kidding

Old lady at car: Henry, wait for me!
Old man carrying beach chairs half a block ahead of her: Dammit, Agnes, I’m going! I’ve been waiting for you for 40 years!

–Beach near Naples, Florida

Overheard by: X

Guy: Why do you have a wooden fork?
Girl: First of all, because it's biodegradable; and second, it's hard to eat a cupcake.

–Sprinkles, Newport Beach, California

Overheard by: M

Cop, pointing to trash can filled rim with beer and alcohol bottles: Are all of these yours?
Tall man, pointing to one lone bottle: Well, that one's not mine.

–Belmar, New Jersey

Girl: So, yeah, when I get a bit of money together, I’m going to travel around Europe for bit.
Guy: Oh, yeah, really?
Girl: Yeah, I’m probably going to train around the country for a couple of months.
Guy: Oh, so like to India and stuff, yeah?
Girl: Yeah.

–Melbourne, Australia

Overheard by: Harrison