Death

Girl to brother: What are you eating?
Brother: Human remains.

–Tampa, Florida

Mom, holding bag of ashes: (whispers)
Girl: Mom, stop talking to dad! It's creepy.

–Huntington Beach, California

Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!

–Fernandina Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Katred

Muscle guy: Damn, that Lexus just hit that kid on a bike in front of Circle Pizza!
Blonde woman: Wait what? Was it one of mine?
Muscle guy: No, yours are jumping off the bridge.
Blonde woman: Oh, thank god.

–St Avalon, New Jersey

Overheard by: Himbo

Woman #1: Is that a dead seal in the water?
Woman #2: Are you Canadian or just stupid?
Woman #1: I’m Canadian.

–Key West, Florida

Overheard by: uarerude

Girl: Can fish die from loneliness?

–Lowestoft, England

Overheard by: Sarah

Girl, drinking spiked hot chocolate: Oh my god, it's like Jesus died in my mouth!

–Arcata, California

Texan: Yo! Dude, the waves are so huge! I just broke my longboard in two an’ almost got killed… that was awesome!

–Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic

Woman: If you get pulled out by a rip tide you shouldn't even bother to fight it, right? Because you're already dead.
Man: She's giving herself a pep talk.

–Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: beach comber

Hobo: Happy holidays! Skate or die!

–Pacific Beach Boardwalk, San Diego, California

Overheard by: OB Dave