Food

Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.

–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida

Girl: I hope nobody stole our towels while we were stealing ice cream.

–Melbourne Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Ali and Livi

Girl on cell: Hey! I'm having a barbecue tonight! You should totally come over to my place and drink juice. And by “juice,” I mean sooodaaaa.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Blonde teen to hot dog vendor: How long are your foot-long hot dogs?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Hungry-Man-on-the-Beach

Four-year-old girl, dropping cracker on the floor: Oh, shit!
Mother: Um…no, honey. Not here.

–Steamship Authority Martha's Vineyard Ferry, Massachusetts

Chick #1: My dog won’t eat its food unless we mix cottage cheese in it.
Chick #2: Ew, cottage cheese is disgusting.
Chick #1: Yeah, I hear it looks like a yeast infection.

–Hilton Head, South Carolina

Unshaven surfer on cell: No, no, no! Do you want me to bring Schnitzel?

–Bondi Beach, Australia

Bike kid #1: Where are you going? The girls are coming right back!
Bike kid #2: I’m going to get gum.
Bike kid #1 to bike kid #3: We’re never bringing him to fucking Wawa again!

–Cape May, New Jersey

Overheard by: DennyCrane

Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.

–Wildwood, New Jersey

Overheard by: Dan

Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.

–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware