Unshaven surfer on cell: No, no, no! Do you want me to bring Schnitzel?
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Unshaven surfer on cell: No, no, no! Do you want me to bring Schnitzel?
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Bike kid #1: Where are you going? The girls are coming right back!
Bike kid #2: I’m going to get gum.
Bike kid #1 to bike kid #3: We’re never bringing him to fucking Wawa again!
–Cape May, New Jersey
Overheard by: DennyCrane
Jersey woman, to seagull: Get away, you lazy sonofabitch! Go find your own food! [to friends] Just like Mexicans.
–Wildwood, New Jersey
Overheard by: Dan
Stoned nerd (talking about his sub order): I've got six inches!
Stoned girl: Lucky. I got the lesbian choice, a fuckin' sandwich. Cuz the sandwich is like a vagina and the sub is like a dick, ya know?
Stoned nerd: No, I totally understand. And I'm okay with that.
–Wawa, Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
40-something woman: Yeah, I cook a lot of chicken. I like it baked or fried, but my husband likes when I jerk it.
–Pompano Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Nastyasha
Hot dad: No, it's because I prefer other foods.
Small boy clinging to his back: Like people poopy?
–Vancouver Sea Walk, Canada
Overheard by: Rosie
Teen to promoter throwing Halloween candy: Bitch, gimme somma dem fuckin' dots!
–West Palm Beach, Florida
Stoned girl #1: You know what's awesome? If you look up, you see the moon and the stars, and it's like you're looking at space.
Stoned girl #2 (munching Parmesan crackers): Whoooaaa.
–Saint Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: i was stoned and it sounded cool at the time, too.
Queer #1: Oh my god, I used to eat Little Debbies all the time! I would have a Little Debbie and a Coke for breakfast every day.
Queer #2, intensely: I fucking loved Little Debbies.
–Publix, South Beach, Miami, Florida
