Guys

Husband, excited at seeing a washed up, dead whale: Carla? Do you remember how excited you were when you saw that deer? Well, wait ’til you see this!

–Fernandina Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Katred

Guy: What's the capital of… Iraq?
Girl: Baghdad.
Guy: Lebanon?
Girl: Beirut.
Bimbo: Oh my god, how do you know all this? Have you been to these countries?
Girl #1: Yeah, because they're all such fun places to go visit…
Bimbo: I don't know any capitals except like Australia.
Guy: I'm sure you do, what about New Zealand?
Bimbo: That's a country?!

–Melbourne, Australia

Muscle guy: Damn, that Lexus just hit that kid on a bike in front of Circle Pizza!
Blonde woman: Wait what? Was it one of mine?
Muscle guy: No, yours are jumping off the bridge.
Blonde woman: Oh, thank god.

–St Avalon, New Jersey

Overheard by: Himbo

Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!

–Florence, Oregon

Overheard by: Johm

Guy: My dick has no boundaries.

–Miami, Florida

Guy: My dick has no boundaries.

–Miami, Florida

Guy on cell: When the freeway ends, turn left…Yes, the freeway ends….Because the continent ends, dipshit.

–Hermosa Beach, California

Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I'm not drinking for Ramadan.

–Auckland, New Zealand

Guy #1: What's going on? The sun went down but it's still raining?
Guy #2: Dude, why would the sun going down make it stop raining?
Guy #1: No, it totally does! It never rains at night.

–Miami, Florida

Overheard by: Matt

Man #1: Man, I’ve got some sandy nuts. Sannndy nuuuts!
Man #2: Dude, shake it over there. You’re getting your nut-sand all over me.

–Ocean Beach, San Diego, California

Overheard by: Daryl