Guys

Trucker: Well, it’s a Mercury Sable, but that really doesn’t matter. It’s essential that you call me El Conquistador.

–Outer Banks, North Carolina

Overheard by: Just trying to keep in touch with the rest

Drunk guy: I’m scared of you… You look dangerous, like you could beat somebody up.
Drunk girl: What? Why?
Drunk guy: It’s the headband, you look like you know karate.
Drunk girl: I don’t know karate, I know yoga.

–Beaufort, South Carolina

Overheard by: Wish I had that logic….

Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!

–Discovery Bay, California

20-something guy, imitating his girlfriend: Rub my back! Put your dick in me! Me, me, me!

–Santa Monica Beach, California

Overheard by: Diana

B&B owner to guests: Do you two have children?
Female guest: Oh no, not yet. That’s why we are here!
B&B owner (blushing) walking away: Oh! Well, I’m glad we could help!
Guest (softly, mortified): I meant we have more time without kids!

–Bed & Breakfast, Galveston Island, Texas

Guy to date: Careful, you're about to spill that soda on yourself.
Girl: Yeah. Well hey, what's one more liquid splashed all over my body today?
Guy: Uh… What?
Girl: Oh. Uh… what?

–Coney Island, New York

Overheard by: tner

Guy holding up little wooden container: We could get this for Bill.
Girl: Oh! For his pot!
Guy, looking over girl’s shoulder at elderly woman behind her: … Or stuff.

–Labadee, Haiti

Girl #1: Oh wow, you got so many freckles today!
Guy: Why does everyone keep saying that? Do freckles come from the sun or something?
Girl #2: Um… yeah?
Guy: I just kinda thought they showed up. Like sometimes they're here, and sometimes they're not.
Girl #1: Um, no, it's not random. Like, I ate some cheese, so now I'm freckled.
Girl #2: Or, I'm really freckled cuz I'm tired.

–Paradise Beach, Mykonos, Greece

Overheard by: Jules

Woman: If you get pulled out by a rip tide you shouldn't even bother to fight it, right? Because you're already dead.
Man: She's giving herself a pep talk.

–Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: beach comber

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!