Stoned guy #1: Look at the moon, its all halfy and shit.
Stoned guy #2: You said it in a tone like you’re in a Frankenstein movie.

–Near the Cannal, Serbia

Overheard by: Uros Jovanovic

Woman to friend: Look at that woman. She so fat, we should call Greenpeace to roll her back in the ocean.
Little girl passing by fat woman: My mommy says Greenpeace should roll you back into the ocean!

–Zandvoort, Netherlands

Overheard by: Linda

Customer: Can I have a Stella [Artois]?
Bartender: Ermm… She’s not working today.

–Pool Bar, Ayia Napa, Cyprus

Teen male #1: I just saw two lesbians kissing in the water.
Teen male #2: What? Why didn’t you take a fucking picture?
Teen male #1: Right, I forgot to take my camera phone with me while diving into the water…

–North Crete, Greece

Little girl: What does that sign mean?
Father: That means ‘Pedestrians,’ sweetie.
Little girl: Are we pedestrians?
Father: Yes, we are.
Little girl: Oh… I thought we were Catholics.

–Beach near Amsterdam, North Holland, Netherlands

Overheard by: Daan

Tween girls: Mami, Mami, we saw shit floating in the water!
Mother: God, the sea is so big, just play somewhere else.

–Ibiza, Spain

Overheard by: thorsten

Greek man: You are so white! Why are you so white?
Pale girl: I’m from England.

–Stalis, Crete

Overheard by: Another pale girl

Swedish guy: … So she had to shave her pussy and use a used razor she found in the trash.

–Barcelona, Spain

Overheard by: boxface

Little boy: Dad, what kind of birds are these?
Dad: Those are pigeons, but at the seaside they will call them ‘seagulls’!

–Ostseebad Damp, Germany

Overheard by: Pascal

Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.

–Nova Siri, Italy

Overheard by: only other american in the place