College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?
–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Do I wanna know?
College girl to guy: Are you gonna put that thing in your bathing suit, or carry it?
–Hawaiian Inn, Daytona Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Do I wanna know?
Man: Shit. I hate him so much. He gets me so mad sometimes. He makes me so mad I wanna fuck him hard in the ass.
–Coney Island, New York
Female snowbird: Conch fritters? What’s conch?
Male snowbird: Didn’t you read Lord of the Flies? You need the conch shell to talk.
Female snowbird: You want me to eat a ceremonial shell?
–Frenchy’s, Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: sarah d.
Dude #1, looking at girl’s butt: I’d say about a six.
Dude #2: Yeah… Out of a hundred!
Dude #1: Okay, fine. What about her… Eight?
Dude #2: Nah.
Dude #1: Well, what do you think?
Dude #2: That man’s about an eight.
Dude #1: Dude…
–Gold Coast, Australia
Four-year-old girl, playing with bucket in sand: Come play with us!
Four-year-old boy, barely looking up from his inflatable mattress: No, I’m working on my tan.
–Waikiki, Hawaii
Teen boy, looking at boogie board: Oh, man… My nipples are gonna get it.
–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Overheard by: Kate H
Guy pointing out girl with tampon string hanging out of her bikini: Dude, that chick is either on her period, or she just fucked a tea bag.
–Bronte Beach, Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Hamish The Li
Girl to guy with oddly-shaped swimsuit: What kind of a tan line do you have?
Guy: Get the hell away from me! I don’t know you!
–Carolina Beach, North Carolina
Boss: What do you call this finger in English?
Employee: The ring finger.
Boss: Ok, how about this one?
Employee: Uh, hold it right there [takes a picture] That’s the middle finger.
Boss: I see. How about the little one?
Translated from the Japanese
–Beach BBQ in Toyama, Japan
Naked guy: Do you know why I love going to nude beaches?
Naked chick: Why?
Naked guy: No Republicans.
–Field 5, Robert Moses Beach, New York
Overheard by: Stila
