Guys

[Three ten-year-old boys cycling past the beach.]Boy #1: Why you going so fast?!
Boy #2: [Missing front teeth, which makes him lisp.] Becauth he wath fucking her latht night!
Boy #3: What?!!!

–Lake Calhoun Beach, Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: They grow up quickly these days!

Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay!

–Coney Island, New York

Tourist: Are you a lifeguard?
Lifeguard: No, I just bring this 12-foot wooden lifeguard stand with me wherever I go.

–Kennebunk, Maine

Overheard by: Mike

Sweaty dude on boardwalk: I wrote a poem the other day. Wanna hear it?
Sweaty female companion, jogging away: Aw, hell no!

–Tampa, Florida

Guy to girl: I have a wiener dog that is a pain in the ass!
Girl: Is that supposed to be a pun?

–Tampa, Florida

Guy with board, about water: It's flatter than my abs out here!

–Perdido Key, Florida

Macho 20-something guy to macho friends: Hmm, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little bi-curious today.

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: roxana

Guy #1: Do you like movies?
Guy #2: Movies? Oh yeah, movies!

–Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: tori

60-something naked man: Yeah, but he was born at a very young age too.

–Sunny Isles, Florida

Overheard by: Kris

Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?

French guy says nothing.

Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!

–Côte d’Azur, France

Overheard by: Another Swede