Tourist: Are you a lifeguard?
Lifeguard: No, I just bring this 12-foot wooden lifeguard stand with me wherever I go.
–Kennebunk, Maine
Overheard by: Mike
Tourist: Are you a lifeguard?
Lifeguard: No, I just bring this 12-foot wooden lifeguard stand with me wherever I go.
–Kennebunk, Maine
Overheard by: Mike
Sweaty dude on boardwalk: I wrote a poem the other day. Wanna hear it?
Sweaty female companion, jogging away: Aw, hell no!
–Tampa, Florida
Guy with board, about water: It's flatter than my abs out here!
–Perdido Key, Florida
Macho 20-something guy to macho friends: Hmm, I don't know. I'm just feeling a little bi-curious today.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: roxana
Guy #1: Do you like movies?
Guy #2: Movies? Oh yeah, movies!
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: tori
60-something naked man: Yeah, but he was born at a very young age too.
–Sunny Isles, Florida
Overheard by: Kris
Swedish guy, to French guy: So you’re telling me I just paid like 1,000 Euro to go here and find out that some fuckin’ frogshagger screwed my girlfriend?
French guy says nothing.
Swedish guy: Hey, that’s three words for “intercourse” in one sentence! Personal record!
–Côte d’Azur, France
Overheard by: Another Swede
Guy #1: What I can’t understand is, $5,000 an hour for a hooker? How good can pussy be?
Woman #1: And where did he get that kind of money on a public official’s salary?
Guy #2: He could have cruised tenth avenue and gotten the same poontang for twenty bucks.
Woman #2: I don’t have to worry about Frank going to hookers. He won’t even use a bottle of ketchup if it’s already been opened.
–Italian Restaurant, Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
American: Why did she stare at me like that? Is my accent that horrible? Did I say something wrong?
Japanese-American: Your accent isn’t that bad. But you made the Japanese “fuck you” gesture with your hands.
–Beach near Tokyo
