Girl: They should make people wear shoes on the beach.
Fratboy: Why?
Girl: It smells like toes.
Fratboy: It doesn’t smell like toes. You’re smelling your lipstick.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Really loud fat lady: Fat old guys drive nice cars to get with the young pretty girls.

–Public parking lot, Seaside, Oregon

Overheard by: Drewlicious

Little city boy chasing seagull on the beach: Come here, you flying chicken!
Mom: That is not a chicken, that is a pigeon or something!
Little boy: I said come here, come here, you chicken head!

–Seaside, Oregon

Crazy lady: I told you, I don’t want to be the goddamn queen of Russia.

–Haystack Rock, Oregon

Overheard by: Luke

Husband: Let’s take a surfing lesson.
Wife: The water’s too cold.
Husband: We can rent a wet suit.
Wife: That would be like wearing someone else’s condom.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: macdog

Old hairy guy: Welcome to the Pacific Ocean!
Dumb blonde: Huh? The ocean? I thought you said we were going to the beach!

–Beverly Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: please tell me she’s kidding

Old lady to another: She would do anything for a marshmallow!

–Seaside, Oregon

Overheard by: Arianne

Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.

–Cannon Beach, Oregon

Overheard by: Ann

Frat boy #1: Dude, look! A sea enema!
Frat boy #2: Dumbass, it’s sea a-nenema.
Frat boy #1: Fuck. My bad.

–Sunset Bay, Oregon

Overheard by: Ahkuah Mahn

Man: I can’t believe how much gas we saved by renting that car instead of taking mine.
Woman: Yeah, but how come you can fart in it, but I can’t smoke?