German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California
German: We’ll see the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and Disneyland. Then on the second day…
–Los Angeles, California
Tourist guy #1: I never thought you’d look good in Bermuda shorts.
Tourist guy #2: Right.
Tourist guy #1: But you do! You really do!
–Broadsands, South Devon, United Kingdom
Tourist guy: Can I get a banana daiquiri with dark rum?
Dominican Bartender: Sí.
Tourist guy receives a banana daiquiri in one glass and another full of dark rum.
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Overheard by: Devon
Ditzy blonde tourist: I’m in New York City, and I have no idea what to do.
–Coney Island, New York
Overheard by: Mimi
Salesman: Gringo, gringo. Mexican wrestling mask, Nacho Libre!
Guy: No, dude, sorry. I already bought two today.
Salesman: Señorita, one for you?
Girl: Um, no, thanks.
Salesman: Come on… it will be something different for tonight!
Girl: If I wanted something different, we’d be at the farmacia buying Cialis.
–Puerto Nuevo, Mexico
Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that’s the Pacific ocean.
–Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California
Tourist: What happened to the beach? It’s like…buried in sand!
–Mantoloking Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Shanna
Fat tourist lady: So then he yelled “I’m going to poop on your chest, you’ll see!”
–South Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Captain K
Middle aged tourist yelling frantically to children in the water: Get out, get out! There’s sharks!
Teenager with skimboard: Actually, those are a school of stingrays. They’re quite harmle…
Middle age mother, cutting him off: Shaaarks! Get out now!
–Clearwater Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Jonica Grompson
Black guy playing drums, smiling at toddler nearby: Hi, sweetie. What you thinkin’? [Passing white lady tourist takes picture, and black guy frowns.] I respect you, too! Do I take a picture of you at the insurance office in Iowa?!
White lady tourist: Well, I–
Black guy: –Step off, bitch! [Turns back to little girl] Don’t grow up to be like her, baby girl.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: This place sure has changed since the 80s
