Girl on cell: Dude, you could buy a whole bag full of dildos, and he would never know.
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: groovychica
Girl on cell: Dude, you could buy a whole bag full of dildos, and he would never know.
–Oceanside, California
Overheard by: groovychica
Eight-year-old boy: … So I whipped out my peanut and had sex with the sheets…
–Near the Steeplechase, Coney Island Beach, New York
Overheard by: beach soccer bum
Loud Brit on cell: Oh, yes! We’re finally here! It’s so warm here! All quiet — it’s just beautiful! Will you be along soon? Oh… Ah… Uh-huh… So you’re going to have sex? Right, then — see you in a minute! Bye!
–Barcelona, Spain
Overheard by: Avkram
Old lady #1: He told me he has never lasted more than three minutes with anyone!
Old lady #2: Really?? That poor, poor woman of his. No wonder she got a boob job and bites her nails so much.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Blonde on cell: Yeah, he just called. He’s waiting for me across the street with his pants off.
–48th Street, Newport Beach, California
Girl #1: She’s such a ditz. She’s in a band called ‘Bitch Slap,’ and they all wear matching shirts that say ‘Bitch Slap.’
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
Girl #1: They do so!
Girl #2: They do not!
–Coffs Harbour, Australia
20-something woman #1: She was bitching about how there was nothing to eat in the house, and so Bob* said, “you could go to the store,” and she said, “I don't go to the store on my vacation. There are two things I don't do on vacation: go to the store and cook.”
20-something woman #2: What is she even on vacation from? Sitting on her ass?
–Holden Beach, North Carolina
Woman #1: I once saw my neighbor being taken out of his house in a coroner’s bag.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because he was dead.
–Manhattan Beach, California
Bimbette: I thought he was a paraplegic, but it turned out he was just lazy.
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
Overheard by: Patricia
White chick with dreads: Yeah, I used to pee on my best friend all the time… Well, I guess it was really just one time, but we peed on each other. I was sitting on her lap and I was laughing really hard, and I was like, ‘Oh I have to pee,’ but then I thought it’d be even funnier, so I just let it go. Later she tackled me in the water and peed on me. It was kinda nice — like, really warm.
–Pickerel Lake, Michigan
Overheard by: Maude Lynne
