Man #1: Hey, man, what you doing?
Man #2: Oh, nothing. Just watching this whore getting a customer across the street.
Man #1: Huh? How do you know she’s a whore?
Man #2: ‘Cause we’ve been standing here for about an hour and she’s been leaning against different cars talking, getting in, leaving, and coming back. Besides, she’s dressed like a whore.
Man #3: So are half the people here.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Overheard by: Les
Frat boy: … And I don’t really know what happened! All of a sudden I was in an orgy… And you know what? It wasn’t even all that good.
–Pacific Beach, California
Frat boy to buds: Dude, strippers look a lot different once you get them home.
–Grafton Lakes State Park, New York
Biotech #1: Wow. Did you see his new girlfriend over there?
Biotech #2: Yeah. She’s got cottage cheese legs.
Bimbette: Really? Where is she? Is she fat?
Biotech #2: It’s not that she’s fat, it’s just that… well… she’s built like a linebacker.
Bimbette, looking in opposite direction: Hey, look — volleyball!
–Hamburg Beach, Germany
Teen girl: My shorts are expanding like a tampon!
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!
–Discovery Bay, California
20-something daughter: She’s 23.
Middle-aged mom: Well, if she ain’t married yet, she ain’t never gonna be.
–Daytona, Florida
Overheard by: MAGICALLY engaged at 36
Man on cell: I know — she’s been a proper cunt since she got cancer.
–Freshwater West, Pembroke, Wales
Overheard by: Withy
Small girl: I want to see a penis.
Father: What?
Small girl: Mommy said we go to the beach to see lots of penises because there are none at home.
–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Total Observer
Little boy passing by a midget: Mom! Mom! I just saw a people-kid!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
