Think of Me As the Consumer Reports of Sex

Guy: Why did you tell *Veronica that I had a small dick?
Girl: Because you do.
Guy: You could have at least told her I know how to use it.
Girl: You don’t!

–Discovery Bay, California

Posted on December 7, 2023
California, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Creepsters, Girls, Gossip, Gripes, Guys, Penis, Questions, Sex, Size

Perhaps a Career As a Schoolmarm, Then

20-something daughter: She’s 23.
Middle-aged mom: Well, if she ain’t married yet, she ain’t never gonna be.

–Daytona, Florida

Overheard by: MAGICALLY engaged at 36

Posted on October 5, 2023
Age and ageing, Family, Florida, Gossip, Marriage, Moms

But Then, So Have I

Man on cell: I know — she’s been a proper cunt since she got cancer.

–Freshwater West, Pembroke, Wales

Overheard by: Withy

Posted on September 18, 2023
Gossip, On the phone, UK

Actually, There Is a Penis at Home – It's That Thing I Told You Never to Talk to Mommy About

Small girl: I want to see a penis.
Father: What?
Small girl: Mommy said we go to the beach to see lots of penises because there are none at home.

–Nauset Beach, Eastham, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Total Observer

Posted on September 2, 2023
Dads, Gossip, Gripes, Kids, Massachusetts, Penis

Can We Keep It?

Little boy passing by a midget: Mom! Mom! I just saw a people-kid!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Posted on August 18, 2023
Glad the condom broke, Gossip, South Carolina

Every Four-Year-Old Knows a Teenager Like This

Four-year-old camper: Do you got a car?
14-year-old counselor: Uh, I can’t drive.
Four-year-old camper: So does your mom bring you here?!
14-year-old counselor: Yeah. I mean, I live in El Cerrito.
Four-year-old camper: But does that mean you live with your mom or something? Aren’t you in college?!
14-year-old counselor: Well, the truth is my license was revoked after I ran over those aliens. The FBI was angry because they needed to talk to them about the plans for the United States embassy on Mars, but it has to be kept hush-hush since the North Koreans may be on to them.
Four-year-old camper: Ohhh…

–California