New Hampshire

Bimbette announcer during Miss Hampton Beach pageant: … And now our auditor will talibate the results…

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Annette

Girl to friends: I think the worst thing I ever smelled was my own breath.

–Weirs Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: glad I wasn’t downwind of her

Parking lot attendant: Thirty dollars.
Woman: Last time I was here, you charged me five dollars.
Parking lot attendant: I should be charging you the same amount as it is degrees outside. I should be charging you like ninety three dollars.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: arc, mich

Middle‐aged man #1: They smoke crack and worship Satan.
Middle‐aged man #2: Good.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Bunny

Woman #1: I don’t mind sand in my bathing suit or sand up my butt, but I don’t want sand in my mouth!
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: Yup!
Woman #2: Well, I guess that makes sense. There are a lot of things I would rather have in my butt than in my mouth.

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: velma

Ten year old boy, flipping over on towel: Man, I’m sweating like a fat chick!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre

Five‐year‐old pulling her bottom lip down: I have herpes!

–Seabrook Beach, New Hampshire

20‐something male, chasing after another with driftwood: Go back to the sea from whence you came!

–Hampton Beach, New Hampshire

Pissed off mom to crying sons: You’re goddamned right, we’re leaving and we’re never coming back!

–Rye Beach, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Robin M. StPierre

Teen girl: I guess she has nice boobs, but they’re almost too nice.
Teen boy: Hey, give her a break. She’s only 13.

–Spofford Lake, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Nadia