Bimbettes

Early-20s chick: I mean, I love my dad as a father and a friend, but, like, definitely not as a husband.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: awesome is as awesome does

Bitchy friend: … So then we took a vote, and you’re the biggest slut out of all of us.
Girl: But I’m the only virgin.
Bitchy friend: We know.

–Kingston Beach, Washington

Bikini #1: Duuude, your birthmark has gotten bigger…
Bikini #2: That’s because my thigh has gotten bigger.

–The Hamptons, New York

Brunette: Okay, now that I have your number, I’ll just call you and then you’ll have mine.
Blonde: Oh! It’s ringing. Okay… I’m going to reject you, and then I’m going to save you… I’m just like Jesus.

–Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Kelly

Girl: I would have stayed on longer, but my swimsuit was on one ankle!

–Madison Lake, Minnesota

Blonde girl on cell: That's not fair! Just because I want to actively pursue a sexual relationship with my thesis advisor does not mean you can call me a whore! (long pause) My boyfriend says he doesn't care.

–Los Angeles, California

Girl #1: I was talking to Jess* the other day. She’s been home for a while.
Girl #2: Isn’t she a lesbian now?
Girl #1: Yeah, she was with her girlfriend, Michelle, who was really nice and really hot.
Girl #2: So, Jess is like the boy, right?
Girl #1: No. They are both girls.

–St. Kilda Beach, Australia

Overheard by: one of those lesbians who dates boys

Blonde teen to hot dog vendor: How long are your foot-long hot dogs?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Hungry-Man-on-the-Beach

Bimbette to friend: Why is it so cold? It’s a beach!
Passerby: Yeah, a beach in November… Dipshit.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: dr. obvious

Chick #1: You can see Venezuela on a clear day from here.
Chick #2: Really?! I would love to go to Venezuela — I hear it’s a really nice island.
Chick #1: Um… Island as in South America…?
Chick #2: It’s right off of South America, right?
Chick #1: I guess you should have paid attention in geography class.
Chick #2: What does math have to do with it?

–Aruba

Overheard by: Erin from New York