Blonde: Hey, what time is it?
Redhead: Real time or pretend time?
Blonde: You told me you changed your phone over already, so just tell me what it says!
Redhead: 4:03.
Blonde: So it’s only three o’clock in my head still…
Redhead: I offered to tell you pretend time!
Blonde: But I wanted to do the math myself!
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jenn
Girl #1: I’m glad we aren’t having earthquakes here like back in Cali.
Girl #2: It would suck coming over to Maui and then having an earthquake here.
Girl #1: Hey, can you feel an earthquake in a plane?
Girl #2: Um…
–Kihei, Maui, Hawaii
Overheard by: Darcy
Chick on cell: Yeah, don’t you wash your hands after you go to the bathroom? Ewww, why am I dating you?
–Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: hannie bananie
Girl #1: Hey, did you hear that the US population just went up to 300 million? Isn’t that crazy?!
Girl #2: Yeah, it is! What was it before?
–Fort Lauderdale Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
Golden girl: Excuse me, bartender!
(harried bartender grunts at her)
Golden girl: Bartender, can I just have an ice cube please?
(harried bartender fills a cup with ice cubes and slams it down in front of her)
Golder girl: What am I supposed to do with all of these? I just wanted one to put in my bra!
–Colony Hotel, Delray Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Little Miss Texas slathering on more baby oil: I don’t know why I’m gettin’ all these little wrinkles around my eyes, do y’all?
–Waikiki Beach, Hawaii
Girl #1: I think you might be ridiculous.
Girl #2: Look who’s talking.
Girl #1: See, you’re not normally ridiculous. On the other hand, I am always ridiculous. So why should you expect any different from me?
Girl #2: I shouldn’t. I’m sorry.
–#6 Parking Lot, Jones Beach, New York
Girl #1, looking at fake sex pills: You should get him this one: “One Large Dose of Lovin’.”
Girl #2: Bitch, it’s going to take more than some candy to get him to fuck me!
–Novelty shop, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Overheard by: Ava
