Gays & Lesbians

Drag queen, dressed as a princess with a mop: Come in and have a drink! Best place around!
Straight girl: What are you cleaning?
Drag queen: Girl, it gets messy around here, can't you see? (proceeds to use mop on girl's glasses)

–Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Cordelia

Papi #1: Oh, he’s so nice! You know, he’s 36, but he doesn’t look any older than 34!
Papi #2: That’s hot.

Translated from the Spanish

–Miami Beach, Florida

Furious teenage boy to other teens: Just because you call “no-homo” before you do something doesn't mean it's not gay!

–Coney Island, New York

Queer: He looks so elegant, even when he’s not in drag!

–Provincetown, Massachusetts

Overheard by: DJ Oakes

Queer looking at screaming queer in water: Maybe I’m not gay.

–Rehoboth Beach, Delaware

Overheard by: laughing entirely too much

Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg!

Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Bryan

Teen boy: Fucking faggots!
Queer: How can he tell I’m gay?
Lesbo: How can he tell I’m a lesbian? What, do we exude a flamboyantly-homosexual aura or something? Fuck, we’re cuddling with a member of the opposite gender, and people still know we’re gay! Damn, it’s like P.E. class all over again.

–Delta, British Columbia, Canadia

Queer: That guy sooo just checked you out.
Hot chick: Should I go over there and ask to sit on his face?
Queer: Bianca.
Hot chick: What? I’m horny!
Queer: Me, too, now that I think of it.

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Queer: It turns out sleeping with a deaf guy is awesome!

–Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Chris Newcomer

Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky-ass, motherfucking whore!

–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Marizzle