Gays & Lesbians

Queer to boyfriend: You’d look so hot with a peg leg!

Fire Island Boulevard, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Bryan 

Teen boy: Fucking faggots!
Queer: How can he tell I’m gay?
Lesbo: How can he tell I’m a lesbian? What, do we exude a flamboyantly‐homosexual aura or something? Fuck, we’re cuddling with a member of the opposite gender, and people still know we’re gay! Damn, it’s like P.E. class all over again.

–Delta, British Columbia, Canadia

Queer: That guy sooo just checked you out.
Hot chick: Should I go over there and ask to sit on his face?
Queer: Bianca.
Hot chick: What? I’m horny!
Queer: Me, too, now that I think of it.

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Queer: It turns out sleeping with a deaf guy is awesome!

–Penn’s Landing, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Chris Newcomer

Queer #1 reaching for sunscreen: Okay, I need someone to do my back!
Queer #2: Ewww.
Queer #1: Oh, shut up you skanky‐ass, motherfucking whore!

–Cherry Grove Beach, Fire Island, New York

Overheard by: Marizzle

Queer #1: That guy in the blue footy shorts is so hot!
Queer #2: Ewww, Matt, he looks lower class.
Queer #1: We suck cock for a living — you really think we’re classy?
Queer #2: Well, I know I am. I dress in nothing but designer.

–Bondi Beach, Sydney, Australia

Overheard by: Hot Chick

Girl: So, out of all the people in this circle, who have you been sexually involved with?
Queer: Does pecking count?
Girl: Yes.

Queer points at everyone.

Girl 1: You man‐whore! So, if pecking doesn’t count, who have you done anything with?
Queer: Everyone except her.
Girl: So you’re still a whore.

–Centennial Beach, British Columbia, Canadia

Overheard by: shutterbug

Gay guy, after boy holds his hand: Ooooh! I finally get a little PDA!
Chick: Ew! TMI! Who’s little Petey? Why would you name it that?

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Queer #1: Charles, look, there’s another one. He’s white, and the other looks Asian.

Holds up large signs that say “6” and “4,” respectively.

Queer #2: Definitely!
Queer #1: Oh, wow. Look at this one. Latino. Yummmm!

Holds up sign that says “9.”

Queer #2: Oh, yes. Totally!
Straight girl, walking by: What are you two doing? Comparing guys’ looks?
Queer #1: Uhh…
Queer #2: Breeder, please. The Asian guy is a 4, the white guy is a 6, and the Latino guy a 9. What do you think we’re trying to imagine?

–Sunset Beach, Florida

Overheard by: MangoJoe

Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: TheLurker