Stoner #1: Man I love NPR. That All Things Considered shit is so freaking good.
Stoner #2: I know, right? It’s like they don’t not consider anything.
Stoner #3: Ummm… Yeah, it’s exactly like that.

–Clearwater Beach, Florida

Overheard by: That little broad

Housemate: So, last night I was so high on acid that I thought the whole beach was made of cocaine, and now I can’t breathe.


Overheard by: living with morons

Meth-adict-looking girl: I was born by a massive gay orgy.
Friend: I wish I was born by something…

–Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Zach

Rich stoner: Are you sure the bonfire won’t light the sand on fire?

–The Hamptons, Long Island, New York

Overheard by: og pimp

Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.

–Bolinas, California

Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now

Stoned guy #1: Look at the moon, its all halfy and shit.
Stoned guy #2: You said it in a tone like you're in a Frankenstein movie.

–Near the Cannal, Serbia

Overheard by: Uros Jovanovic

Stoner #1: When I first tried weed, I did not inhale.
Stoner #2: You know, I've always wondered why they called it a blow job…
Stoner #1: Why? Did you want one?

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Max

Dude: This beach trip has been so awesome!
Chick: We’ve been here all week, and you haven’t walked down to the beach once.
Dude: Yeah, but it’s great to just sit around, drink, and get high.
Chick: You do that at home.
Dude: But I can see the water from the window. At home all I see is the parking lot.

–Nags Head, North Carolina

Stoned girl: It’s really windy today. I wonder what it is on the Richter scale?

–Brighton Beach, United Kingdom

Overheard by: Chicken King

Crackhead: Yeah, I’m kind of known around here as the sheriff of the North Shore.
Local guy: Yeah? Well, then I’m the mayor.
Passing Australian surfer: I want to be prime minister.

–Sunset Beach, Oahu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Jehan