Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: Ilyse
Dirty old man to visibly terrified 20-something girl next to him: You know, as of today I am no longer on probation. Yep. You look good in shorts. I'm wearing pants cause I had to go to court today. (stops to make phone call) Hey, it's Steven*! Not on probation anymore! (hangs up without saying goodbye, turns back to girl) Right over there is where I went to school. Ten years old, then I quit. Mom used to have a dry clean right over there. No more. Ya know, over that building's the one my buddy sold and now it's a Hard Rock Cafe. A Hard Rock Cafe! Some years ago I saw Peter, Paul & Mary there. Ya know them? I used to date Mary. Wanted me to go to [unintelligible] with her. Never been there to this day. Been to South America, Africa, all over! Never done go to [unintelligible]. Alright, well, take care! (he gets off bus)
No longer terrified 20-something girl to random girl: He smelled like cocaine!
–Express Bus, Waikiki, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Annoying woman: That was green before green was really green.
–Santa Monica, California
Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.
–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia
Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.
–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia
Coworker #1: This is a weird song.
Coworker #2, listening to hip hop: You're a weird song.
Coworker #1: He sounds like a child molester.
Coworker #2: You sound like a child molester.
–Long Beach, California
40-something guy: That must be like an all-you-can-eat salad bar of STDs!
60-something guy: She’s a twin.
–Pancake House, Redondo Beach, California
Woman: Where are you from?
Twelve-year-old boy: Minnesota.
Woman: Oh, yeah, you have really good cheese there.
Boy: Ummmm…
Woman: Oh, wait. No. That’s Wisconsin. They have really good cheese.
Boy: Yeah. They do. But I’m from Minnesota.
–Virginia Beach
Little boy, looking at large man: I thought only girls had those.
–Florida
Overheard by: Northern Lad
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland
