Biker to biker babe: We could hide a homeless guy between your boobs and he could eat forever.

–Holiday Inn, New Smyrna Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Beeeej

Skinny, half naked black guy wearing purple booty shorts: “do you guys do drugs?”
College kids: “no…”
Black guy: “oh I do…I'm a drug addict. Yeah, I just came from a rave, there are some crazy people out there! Why are y'all sitting here in the middle of venice beach? It gets dangerous here at night!”
College kid (holding an orange): “well, I'm strapped, so…”
Black guy: “is that an orange? Can I have it?” (takes orange and walks away).

–Venice Beach

Overheard by: Keidi

Cyclist to another: I ran into Jerry Seinfeld and I said, “Jerry, you sold out.”

–Bike Path, Santa Monica, California

Nagging wife on bicycle to defeated downtrodden husband on bicycle: The more I talk to you, the more my stomach is getting aggravated… 'cause you're an asshole!

–South Beach Boardwalk, New York

Overheard by: J9 and G-Rod

Man on a bike, on cell: Is this where you become an evil bitch?

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Ilyse

Man riding away on bike: Oh ya, why don’t you come over here and do something about it? Eat shit and fuck your mom!

–Playa Del Rey, CA

Biker's lady to biker: He had this plastic bag of poison ivy and was rubbing it on his face…

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey