Attractive female on cell: No, that’s sexual harassment.

–Lorne, Australia

Skinny drunk girl with dense philosophy textbook: I like peeing when necessary, I like peeing when unnecessary. Whenever, wherever. As long as I get arrested for it, that’s all I ask. Is that too much to ask?

–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia

Overheard by: Jericho

Little girl: Do you have a boyfriend?
Older girl: Not right now.
Little girl: Do you kiss guys on the lips?
Older girl: Well…
Little girl: Do you kiss your dad on the lips?
Older girl: Not that I can remember, no.
Little girl: You don’t kiss your dad on the lips? I kissed mine on the lips this morning!

–Palm City, Florida

Overheard by: MBD

Girl #1: I love Italian men. And black men.
Girl #2: Didn’t you date a half black, half Italian man?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: So where’s the ring?
Girl #1: He went back to jail.

–Ocean City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Genevieve

Big mama in bathroom stall with daughter: Hurry up and pee!
Young girl: Mommy, I can’t pee with other people around!
Big mama: Honey, if and when you go to jail, you gonna hafta pee in front of other people.

–Scarborough Beach, Rhode Island

Overheard by: Riley

Seven‐year‐old girl to friend: Kyle says he’s going to go through all the girls’ bags and steal their undies.

–Outdoor Swimming Pool, Victoria, Australia

Overheard by: Mr. E

Man, carrying two hands full of knives: Knives for sale! Knives for sale! 100 dollars! Getting tired of your brother, your cousin, your mother‐in‐law? Knives for sale! You feeling suicidal? Knives! Knives for sale! 100 dollars!

–Montego Bay, Jamaica

Overheard by: Elle

Cute toddler to friends: Whoever has a dog, raise your hand… so I can murder it!

–Belmar, New Jersey

Overheard by: Willy

Pale nerd to posse: So I took out my super big blue Chakra shotgun and I said…

–Seal Beach, California

Older man: Look, if you’re really worried about it…
Younger woman, with full mouth: I am! I’m having trouble sleeping.
Older man: Then you should get a restraining order.

–Beach Footpath, Australia

Overheard by: I Wish I Heard the Start