Compare and contrast

Overly tan muscle man at crowded parade: You can tell people who aren’t from New York cause they say “Excuse me”.

–Coney Island, New York

Teen girl #1: Yeah, he would be cute if he had better teeth.
Teen girl #2: Or a smaller nose.
Teen girl #3: He'd be cute if he was completely different.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

20-something girl, floating on waves: It's like riding a cowboy… I mean, a bucking bronco.
20-something friend: Or is it like riding a cowboy who's riding a bucking bronco?

–WindMark Beach, Florida

Little girl, pointing at a couple making out: Hey! Look, daddy! We have to stop and stare now.
Dad: Shh! No, sweetie. What they are doing is rude, but staring is rude too.

–Bethany Beach, Delaware

Guy: It smells like pussy out here!
Girl: It smells like you’re gonna have to find someone else to give your ass a ride home.

–Bixby Knolls, Long Beach, California

Overheard by: Armando

Idiot chick #1: Oh my god! This sand is sooo much hotter than it was this morning!
Idiot chick #2: Yeah, this morning it wasn’t that hot!
Idiot chick #3: But now it’s really hot!
Idiot chick #2: Yeah!
Idiot chick #1: Not like this morning.
Idiot chick #3: Yeah… It wasn’t that hot this morning.
(brief pause)
Idiot chick #1: Yeah…

–Long Beach, New York

Overheard by: Suzanne

Gay man to another: You are to florist shops as others are to tattoo parlors.

–St. Michaels, Maryland

Overheard by: I am to shoe stores

Kid: Mom, we get two months off for school this summer right?
Mom: No, you get like eight weeks.
Kid: Oh, okay.

–Ocean Beach, California

Overheard by: Stephanie

Dirty surfer to disinterested hippie girl: I mean, I do something for the military that nobody else does, no one has ever been able to do. It's tracking a submarine, underwater, tracking exactly where it is and where it goes, without using sonar, or any technology, or detection devices. They don't know how I do it, and I won't tell them, but I do it. I've won awards for it.

–Ala Moana Blvd. honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: mel

Drunk woman at bar: I mean, we had so much in common, you know? He liked red meat, I liked red meat… It was a good relationship.

–Long Beach, California