Girl: I didn’t realize my nipples were dark until I went to sleep-away camp and the girls in my tent were like: “Um. Wow.” I went topless in Jamaica and they were, like, black when I came back.
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Colleen
Guy: And the guy is complaining about the price of birth control! “Forty dollars?” he's saying… “For that price, I'd rather have a baby!”
–Long Beach, Long Island
Overheard by: Colleen
Obnoxiously loud tourist on cell, watching lighthouse: Oh my god! You would just love it here! Everything is so cute and quaint! They even have a building that looks just like a real lighthouse! It lights up and everything!
–Holland State Park, Michigan
Girl #1: That’s why I love the beach, there’s always someone in a bathing suit who looks worse than you!
Random beach dude: Sorry hun, today that’s just not the case.
Girl #2: Oh my god.
–Lake Ontario, New York
Dude: I didn’t steal the Bentley. I hijacked it.
Girl: [Slaps him.]
–Oean Isle, North Carolina
Black guy to puking white guy: Yup, I know what that's like. I do that every morning, brother!
–Long Beach, Long Island, New York
70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?
–Palm Coast, Florida
Chick #1: You know what would be the hardest job in the world?
Chick #2: What?
Chick #1: To emcee a fashion show. Oh my god, that must be so hard.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah.
–Capitola, California
Blond overtanned guy: Wow, I would rather like to be laying on the beach in Spain right now!
Blond overtanned girl: Yeah, and we could like drive down to Mexico and stuff!
Blond overtanned guy: Hmm…no. You don't drive down to Mexico from Spain…
Blond overtanned girl: Oh! Wrong direction? Is it to the left?
–Nauthólsvík Beach, Iceland
Overheard by: the guy who wishes he wasn't blonde
Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
