20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
20-something man: Those seagulls sound like your orgasm!
Girlfriend, gesturing at teenagers: Shh! There are little girls over there!
–Michigan
Drunk New Year’s reveller, at 5 AM: Morning has broken, like the first…
Girlfriend: Shut up!
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Overheard by: GGary
Girl #1: It was really awkward with him last night, he kept putting his hand in his back pocket and down the back of his jeans.
Girl #2: Maybe he had an itch on his ass?
Girl #1: It was worse then that: he started rubbing his ass on the bar stool.
–Jones Beach, Long Island, New York
University of Miami girl: If I wasn’t me, I’d think I was stupid.
–Miami Beach, Florida
Perfect guido #1, intensely: Yo, bro, there is no way dat your granmudda’s meatballs are better dan my granmudda’s meatballs.
Perfect guido #2: Alright, bro, I’ll give you dat much. But my granmudda’s marinara sauce will blow your granmudda’s outta da saucepan.
–Jones Beach, New York
Guy #1: Hey, what if you had a donkey? Haha.
Guy #2: Yeah, if I had a donkey. Haha. If I had a donkey and you had a rooster, haha.
Guy #1: Exactly.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Girl to surfer boy: If your dick is big as this ice cream I'll throw the ice cream in the trash and lick your dick!
–Santa Monica, California
Burger eater to another: I ate so much salad yesterday I've got lettuce confetti flying out of my butt.
–Kailua-Kona, Hawaii
Overheard by: check please!
Teen girl to giggly friend: Well, it's not my favorite thing to have that kind of shit in my mouth.
–Lido Beach, Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Alyssa
Bro: So like, the thing to know about credit cards is, like, they're a totally good way to build credit.
–Santa Barbara, California
