Now You Know How the Anteater Feels

Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Harell

Posted on May 3, 2024
Advice, BJs, California, Guys, On the phone, Words

Like the E.R.?

Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Posted on January 18, 2024
BJs, Body parts, Drinking, Kids, New Jersey, Teens, Weirdness

Would It Help If You Stopped Chewing Gum?

Woman on surfboard to another: And now my husband wants me to play with his balls while I'm giving him a blowjob. Who does he think I am? I can't even do this! (tries to pat head and rub stomach at the same time)

–Flat Island, Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: TheHammstr

Posted on August 17, 2023
BJs, Body parts, Compare and contrast, Hawaii, Hootchies, Marriage, Stupidity, Wishes

I Love a Girl Who Can Handle Her Balls

70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?

–Palm Coast, Florida

Posted on July 15, 2023
Age and ageing, BJs, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Florida, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Offers and requests, Old folks, Physical Appearance, Sex

According to the Farmer's Almanac

Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

Posted on July 9, 2023
BJs, Compare and contrast, Drinking, Drunks, Virginia, Weather

Is That What "Bros Before Hos" Means?

Stoner #1: When I first tried weed, I did not inhale.
Stoner #2: You know, I've always wondered why they called it a blow job…
Stoner #1: Why? Did you want one?

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Max

Posted on March 4, 2023
BJs, California, Druggies, Drugs, Questions

Worth a Try

Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.

–Ocean City, Maryland