BJs

Drunk guy being dragged out of bar, yelling: But she promised she would suck my balls!

–Cold Keg, Melbourne, Florida

JAP #1: So yeah, Aaron* and Rachel* hooked up last night.
JAP #2: Oh my god! What a fucking slut!
JAP #1: Didn’t you and Rachel give Aaron a blow job last week, at the same time?
JAP #2: Yeah, so… Your point?
JAP #1: Oh, nevermind… Just wanted to know what you thought was slutty and what wasn’t.

–Boca Beach Club, Boca Raton, Florida

Overheard by: glad i picked the boca hotel to stay at..

Guy on cell: All you have to do is suck one cock and they’ll call you a cocksucker for the rest of your life.

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Harell

Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.

–Long Beach Island, New Jersey

Woman on surfboard to another: And now my husband wants me to play with his balls while I'm giving him a blowjob. Who does he think I am? I can't even do this! (tries to pat head and rub stomach at the same time)

–Flat Island, Kailua, Hawaii

Overheard by: TheHammstr

70-year-old man at bar: I got prostate cancer back in the day, so I can lick 'em, but I can't dick 'em.
Almost legal girl: Oh? (laughs)
70-year-old man: You're very well-built for your age. (stares at girl's breasts) You wanna play pool with me?

–Palm Coast, Florida

Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

Stoner #1: When I first tried weed, I did not inhale.
Stoner #2: You know, I've always wondered why they called it a blow job…
Stoner #1: Why? Did you want one?

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: Max

Jock #1: Did you see him at the party last night? I mean, what the hell?
Jock #2: Dude, he’s such a fag.
Jock #1: I heard he swallows.
Jock #2: What’s his name again?
Jock #1: Eric.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Fat sweaty drunk boyfriend to fat sweaty drunk girlfriend: Babe… I don't ever want you to have to suck my cock for money again.

–Jersey Shore

Overheard by: Five Minutes Later A Stranger Grabbed My Hair and Smelled It