Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Drunken man, hitting on woman: Your eyes melt the elastic band in my swim trunks!
–Grand Beach, Manitoba
Overheard by: Tanning @ The beach
Random, possibly drunk lady at bar: 1, 2, 3, 4, who do we appreciate?
–Thai Restaurant, Honolulu, Hawaii
Teen on phone: Yeah, I’m just getting some breakfast. [To bartender] Can I get a beer?
–Pub, Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Islandhopper
Drunk mother: So, do… When we should send the kids to bed?
Drunk father: Well, the older one can stay up later tonight… What the fuck is that kid’s name…?
Drunk mother: Brianna?
Drunk father: Who the hell…? I mean, Sabrina.
Drunk mother: You’re holding Sabrina.
Drunk father: Cassie! Send the other two to bed in an hour or so, but Cassie can stay up later. [Baby in his arms starts to cry.] Shut the hell up, Cheyenne.
–Beach campground, Mindon, Ontario, Canadia
Snack bar worker: Do you ladies need anything for your iced coffees?
Brunette 40‐something: I hate to be a pain, but do you have any skimmed milk?
Snack bar worker (returning): I’m sorry ma’m, we ran out of skimmed milk but I did find some fat‐free milk!
Brunette 40‐something: Oh, thank you so much. (turns to blonde friend) She was so sweet, I didn’t have the heart to tell her it’s the same shit.
Blonde 40‐something friend: It is?
–Manasquan Beach, New Jersey
Overheard by: Beach Bum
Tourist guy: Can I get a banana daiquiri with dark rum?
Dominican Bartender: Sí.
Tourist guy receives a banana daiquiri in one glass and another full of dark rum.
–Punta Cana, Dominican Republic
Overheard by: Devon
Girl #1: You need to learn to give off a “piss off” vibe. Follow my lead.
Girl #2 (to drunk groping her): If you fucking touch me one more time I’ll cut off your balls!
Girl #1: Or just do that…
–Bondi Beach, Australia
Meathead #1: I was so wasted last night.
Meathead #2: Yeah?
Meathead #1: My girlfriend showed me pictures of me making out with a dude.
Meathead #2: Yeah, I think that was me.
–Revere Beach, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Tom
