Drinking

Boy: You should have come out last night! It was the best pub crawl ever!
Girl: Yeah? Which pub crawl was it?
Boy's girlfriend, unimpressed: It wasn't a pub crawl. It was just him… going to a lot of pubs… by himself.

–Gold Coast, Australia

Loud, drunk sorostitute leaving bar to drunk frat boy: When we get back, I'm gonna piss all over your pussy.

–Daytona Beach, Florida

Drunk guy, plopping down on lounge chair: Oh yeah!

Burly man passed out next to him starts to wake up.

Drunk guy: You are a sex machine!
Burly man: What? Where am I??

–Pool bar, Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Girl on nearby lounge chair

Dude #1: Bro, you want a beer?
Dude #2: Nah, I'm not drinking for Ramadan.

–Auckland, New Zealand

Frat boy: So, you guys are going back to the room? I think I’m gonna stay here a little — have another beer, then go take a shower. Beer and a shower. That’s how I roll.

–Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Overheard by: That’s Not How I Roll

Mother to five-year-old son: If anything happens get help from a lifeguard. Mommy's gonna be at the bar.

–Blizzard Beach, Disney World, Florida

Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!

–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota

Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.

–Nova Siri, Italy

Overheard by: only other american in the place

Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!

–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California

Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”

–Venice Beach, California

Overheard by: TheLurker