Mother to five-year-old son: If anything happens get help from a lifeguard. Mommy's gonna be at the bar.
–Blizzard Beach, Disney World, Florida
Hungover girl: Ahh, I feel like shit.
Less hungover girl: Yeah, I can’t believe we did that last night.
Hungover girl: What?…What are you talking about?
Less hungover girl: Cassie…the trampoline?
Hungover girl: Oh my God! Who saw that?!
–Ramsey Beach, Minnesota
Teen girl: I can’t believe I’m drunk! I’m drunk! In Italy! I am 17 and drunk. Oh yeah, and I’m with my parents! The first time I’m drunk, in a foreign country, under 21, with you people, and I’m in Italy?
Teen girl’s mother: It is better this way. At least you are with people who care.
–Nova Siri, Italy
Overheard by: only other american in the place
Heavy sweaty chick, yelling across store at friends: My sweat smells like beer!
–Surf Shop, Laguna Beach, California
Busty tan blonde in yellow bikini, surrounded by 8 beautiful gay men drinking champagne and smoking pot: I mean, we should really just take a picture of this, and put it on a postcard: “Welcome to Venice Beach, bitches.”
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: TheLurker
Beach-goer: Belly rings and stretch marks really don’t go together.
–Redondo Beach, California
Overheard by: Everybody’s Ex-Wife
Drag queen, dressed as a princess with a mop: Come in and have a drink! Best place around!
Straight girl: What are you cleaning?
Drag queen: Girl, it gets messy around here, can't you see? (proceeds to use mop on girl's glasses)
–Fire Island, New York
Overheard by: Cordelia
Drunk college boy: Come get drunnnk!
Sober college girl: Nah I have a massive exam tomorrow, I gotta study.
Drunk college boy: Study… Like a fish.
–Gold Coast, Australia
Underage girl #1: Yeah, but I’m not going to feel okay using my ID if everyone here is from Ohio. They’re going to know it’s fake.
Underage girl #2: Shhh… There’s people in here.
Underage girl #1: I don’t care.
Girl in stall, coming out to wash hands: I know what you guys mean about the Ohio thing. Minivans… I just moved here from New York.
Underage girl #1: Oh?
Girl from stall: I hate it here. I just had a baby. He’s three months old, without a father…
Underage girl #2: Oh my god. I’m so sorry…
Girl from stall: Then my dad left us. He left our family after 25 years. He left us all behind.
Underage girl #1: Oh, uh…
Girl from stall: It’s alright. Have a nice night.
–Hilton Head, South Carolina
Overheard by: Awkward…
Little girl: Look! I can fit an entire Gatorade cap in my mouth! (demonstrates)
Teenage boy to teenage girl: That girl's going places.
–Long Beach Island, New Jersey
