Cute guy, about credit card: Yeah, sorry it’s bent. I jumped off the bridge.
Clerk girl: You jumped off the bridge, huh? Yeah, it’s better if you do it naked.
–7-Eleven, Manteo, North Carolina
Cute guy, about credit card: Yeah, sorry it’s bent. I jumped off the bridge.
Clerk girl: You jumped off the bridge, huh? Yeah, it’s better if you do it naked.
–7-Eleven, Manteo, North Carolina
Bell boy: I applied to be a dancer on a cruise ship, and I totally had the body for it. I had a six pack, borderline eight pack. Plus, I have a mango dick. What am I supposed to do with that now?
–Honolulu, Hawaii
Tour coach driver, gesturing to McDonald's restaurant further down the road: Aaaaand coming up ahead are the golden arches of the American embassy.
–TehanuNui, Nelson, New Zealand
Overheard by: Makenzie
Hairdresser to client: Hey… Um… Remember when I did your hair?
Client: Yeah?
Hairdresser: Wait, you were there, right?
Client: Yeah babe, I was there.
–Venice Beach, California
Teen Girl: I can't eat this ice cream.
Bruster's Employee: Why not?
Teen Girl: Because it's frozen in the middle.
Bruster's Employee: It's ice cream.
Teen Girl: I know, but it's frozen in the middle and I can't eat it.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Shuttle driver over loudspeaker: You can sit anywhere you like, they're all equally uncomfortable.
–Key West, Florida
Rented Segway guy with a helmet to another: You feel really cool, but you don't *look* really cool.
–Venice Beach, California
Overheard by: byrneout
Customer: Hey, my car is making a funny noise.
Clerk: What did it sound like?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk.
Clerk: How did it go, again?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk.
Clerk: I didn’t quite get that — one more time?
Customer: Vrummm-clunk! Vrummm-clunk! Vrummm-clunk!
Clerk: Hahahaha!
Customer: What?
–AutoZone, Crestview, Florida
Tourist mom: Can you rent a boat at the lake down there?
Employee: Um, no. And that's the Pacific ocean.
–Coffee Shop, Carmel Beach, California
Flight attendant: Welcome to Acapulco, where the local time is party time.
–Plane Landing in Acapulco, Mexico
