Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.
–Loon Point, Summerland, California
Overheard by: likes big waves
Girl: They look so much bigger when you’re on your knees!… Um, I meant the waves.
–Loon Point, Summerland, California
Overheard by: likes big waves
Woman #1: Now you see that dude right there? That one in the green swim trunks.
Woman #2: Okaaaaay, yeah, I see him. The one with the red hair that's skimboarding?
Woman #1: Yeah, him. Now, I would so hook up with him. Look at those abs. Don't you just wanna run your hands all over him?
Girl slathered in tanning oil, staring at them: That's my boyfriend.
Woman #2: Oh. How long have you guys been going out?
Girl: Four months. What's it to you?
Woman #1: Just weighing our chances.
Girl: Chances of what?
Woman #2: Sleeping with him.
(girl makes disgusted noise and walks away).
Woman #2: Don' t worry, Shar. She's hideous. We'll follow them when they leave and the next time they go to a club or something, we'll hunt him down and get what we want.
Woman #1: We always do. Wait…which one of us gets to sleep with him? (they glance at each other, saying nothing) I've got a bigger rack.
–Pismo Beach, California
Overheard by: Matilda
Bimbette #1: I’m so bored.
Bimbette #2: Me, too.
Bimbette #1: I would eat my own hand just for some fun.
–North Sea, Holland
Mother to father: Oh my! Jerry, say something to that old man. His testicles are hanging out of his swimsuit.
Little girl: I have testicles. They’re in my mouth. [Opens mouth]Mother: Not tonsils. Testicles!
Father: Seven, and already MTV has ruined her.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Book Reading Beach Bum
Guy with board, about water: It's flatter than my abs out here!
–Perdido Key, Florida
Blonde: Oh my god, I’ve been watching ‘Shark Week’ on TV, and this guy got his hand bitten off. It was crazy! It was a show about survivors, and they showed the scars and everything!
Brunette: That is crazy. I don’t know how I’d live without my hands. I’d rather have the shark bite off my arm.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Steve
30-something woman to friend: Was it g-genital problems?
–Ocean City, Maryland
Overheard by: Kelly
Woman on surfboard to another: And now my husband wants me to play with his balls while I'm giving him a blowjob. Who does he think I am? I can't even do this! (tries to pat head and rub stomach at the same time)
–Flat Island, Kailua, Hawaii
Overheard by: TheHammstr
Four-year-old boy, winding up long conversation: And so that's why spiders live in your eyeballs. They play in the blood and love to drink dirty water. (pause) Can I have a snack?
–Santa Barbara, California
Little boy: That’s a man’s weak spot!
Father: I don’t care how old he is. If I were you, even if he were 18, I’d punch him!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: em-elia
