Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.
–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida
Blond woman, wrapping towel around her waist: I feel like my thighs are too fat to be at the beach.
Gay friend: Well, shit, now they look like they're in a sausage casing. Downgrade.
–Palmetto, Boca Raton, Florida
Drunk guy being dragged out of bar, yelling: But she promised she would suck my balls!
–Cold Keg, Melbourne, Florida
Little girl to mom: The seaweed tickles! It's like Baby Jesus is underwater, tickling my feet himself!
–Vero Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Incredulous
Girl #1: Look at that guy's head. It's so weirdly shaped.
Girl #2: Why does it do that at the back? Like, what's with the way it folds at the back?
Girl #1: Oooh, he has some nicely shaped biceps, though! Wow!
Girl #2: Yeah, he makes it obvious by putting his arms up like that to distract from his head.
Girl #1: He's totally doing that.
Girl #2: He's sitting there going, “hey ladies, don't look at my oddly shaped head. Look at my nicely shaped biceps instead.” (pause) Hey, that rhymed.
–Long Beach, California
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl #1 in stall: I think I’m bleeding.
Girl #2 in next stall: Do you have your period?
Girl #1: I dunno. Here, look.
Girl #2: I don’t want to look!
Girl #1: At my foot, dumbass.
–Wawa, Chadwick Beach, New Jersey
Lifeguard to wading mother: That girl is too small. She can't be out that far. She has to be within arm's length.
Mother: How far is arm's length?
–Jericho Beach, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: hefferlump
Chick: You didn’t bring the towels?!
Dude: Sorry, I forgot! Just lay in the sand!
Chick: I can’t! You know it always gets up inside of me!
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Daughter: You’re sticking out, mom.
Mother: What’s sticking out?
Daughter: Your pubic hair.
Mother: Is it gray?
Daughter: Um, no, not really.
Mother: I’m gonna take a nap.
–Destin, Florida
Overheard by: Hard not to laugh out loud
Biker's lady to biker: He had this plastic bag of poison ivy and was rubbing it on his face…
–Point Pleasant, New Jersey
20-something girl: Guys, did you see the man in the woman's swimsuit over there?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, yeah, I saw him…
20-something girl: He has man legs…
Teen girl #1: But from a distance he could totally pass as a flat chick.
20-something girl: He can really pull it off, too. He has the hat and the glasses and everything.
Teen girl #2: Where's the tranny man? I want to see the tranny man!
–La Jolla, California
Overheard by: La Jollan
