Should’ve used a condom

10-year-old boy: My mom is such a fucking slut.

–Malibu, California

Overheard by: nicole

Four-year-old southerner: Dad! We should cut up a fish! We should cut up a fish and watch it bleed!

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Overheard by: beach*blonde

Girl throwing rock over her head: Look, Mom! I’m going to build a jail!

–Mentor Headlands Beach, Mentor, Ohio

Overheard by: Pale Kid

Woman with three-year-old boy: Dude, you are freaking mommy out!

–Beach 6, Presque Isle, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Random guy to little boy: Hey, you have fun today?
Little boy: Yeah, sure, but I still haven't found those crabs.

–Hilo, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gwen

Babysitter: Hey, do you want to build a sandcastle?
Kid: Yeah! These [feet buried under sand] can be our slave cabins!
Babysitter: Uh, I think it’s time we go swimming.

–Folly Beach, Charleston, South Carolina

Child: Mommy, how old are you?
Mother: I am forty.
Child: [counting on fingers] Jeez, Mommy, you’re running out of numbers.

–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

Four-year-old girl, dropping cracker on the floor: Oh, shit!
Mother: Um…no, honey. Not here.

–Steamship Authority Martha's Vineyard Ferry, Massachusetts

Whiny little boy: Mo-ooom, it’s hot!
Mom: Stop that! Whining makes you hot.

–Isle of Palms, South Carolina

Overheard by: Laura and John

Mother: Will you please stop whining?
Small boy: Shut up, Mommy.

–Martell’s Tiki Bar, Point Pleasant Beach, New Jersey

Overheard by: Trystan