Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six-year-old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn't leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
Mom (exasperatedly): Come on children, you guys going to give me heart failure!
Six-year-old: You going to give yourself heart failure, cause you wouldn't leave us alone.
–Bridgetown, Barbados
Little kid to mom, as storm is coming: If thunder claps while you're in the water, you're gonna die!
–Pawley's Island, South Carolina
Overheard by: Running for Cover
Mother, holding one son in the ocean and calling another on shore: See? The water's fantastic. You have nothing to worry about.
Four-year-old son, crying: I don't want to die here!
–Palm Beach, Aruba
Man: Come back in the water with me.
Boy: No. You tried to drown me! You almost killed me!
Man: Well. You shouldn't have kicked me.
Boy: Kickin' someone in the ding-dong ain't gonna kill them.
Man: It might.
–Destin, Florida
Little boy: Mommy, do you know this?
Mom: What, honey?
Little boy: Do you know this?
Mom: What, honey? I know everything.
Little boy: You're crazy.
Mom: Yeah, I knew this.
–Provincetown, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Just waiting for a lobster roll
Cute toddler to friends: Whoever has a dog, raise your hand… so I can murder it!
–Belmar, New Jersey
Overheard by: Willy
Little boy, wearing a towel as a cape: I’m six! And six-year-old boys are full of poison! I’m gonna bite you! Rawrrr!
–Cape Cod, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lisita
Kid, skateboarding in parking lot next door: I think those gummy worms gave me diarrhea.
–Huntington Beach, California
Overheard by: Jen
Large mother to screaming child: Stop that screeching or I'll cut out your larynx!
Large mother to large sister: Where did she learn to screech like that?
Large sister: I don't know, ask the one in the wheelchair. (points to grandmother in wheelchair)
–Ocean City, Maryland
Five-year-old (yelling across beach: Mommy, if you pooped out a baby, would I faint?
–Ocean Beach III, New Jersey
