Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!
–Naples, Florida
Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don't say you don't know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?!
–Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: halliefaith
Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can't feel my nipples! I can't feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water's so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can't feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
Little boy to friend: Ryan, do you want this hermit crab to pinch your nipples now or later?
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: MsKrabs
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
Girl #1: So I remembered to raise my eyebrows in the picture… Hey, want to see? (pulls out driver's license).
Girl #2: I just leave mine in the car.
Girl #1: Your eyebrows?
–Hartford, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Eating icecream at the time
Girl #1 (as girl #2 drops towel around her waist): Showin' off the goods?
Girl #2: I don't need your sass mouth.
–Manhattan Beach, California
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he would be cute if he had better teeth.
Teen girl #2: Or a smaller nose.
Teen girl #3: He'd be cute if he was completely different.
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Male boater to girl that always gets yelled at by the boss: So, are you thinking of doing this job again next summer?
Girl: Not if it means working for Rich. He's left a bad taste in my mouth.
–Lake George, New York
Girl under umbrella: She said her two life goals are to grow a third arm and trip a cripple.
Mom (to friend): She’s a theater kid.
Friend: But still, I don’t see any reason to hurt a disabled person.
–Sea Isle City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Mary
