Magician to middle-aged woman: Put your pointer fingers out, and point them about five inches apart. (woman does, but it looks more like three inches) I don't know what guy told you that was 5 inches…
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Magician to middle-aged woman: Put your pointer fingers out, and point them about five inches apart. (woman does, but it looks more like three inches) I don't know what guy told you that was 5 inches…
–Carnival Valor, Caribbean Sea
Chick #1: So like, I shaved my legs and then went to this party and there was this toootally hot guy there, but he didn’t want to hook up with me.
Chick #2: Well, I have this theory that you only get action when your legs are hairy.
–The Hamptons, New York
Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.
–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia
Boy, obviously on drugs: My mum says that your brain is like a forest, and every time you take drugs you are cutting down a tree.
–Splendour Music Festival, Byron Bay, Australia
Hobo in wheelchair to boys skating: Bend over!
Boy: If you were tall enough…
–Santa Monica, California
Sunbathing guy: You know what sucks? Thinking you're more tan than you actually are.
–Ocean City, Maryland
Teenage son: Mom, did dad ever kiss me? Like when I was little?
Mom: Your dad kissed you.
Teenage son: Yeah, but did he ever kiss me on the lips?
Mom: I'm not sure what you're asking.
–Cannon Beach, Oregon
Overheard by: Ann
Overweight, trashy lady: It’s not hanging out!
Trashy daughter: Mom, yes it is. You can’t wear that kind of suit.
Trashy lady: We just drove two hours to get here, the weather’s not that great, and I can wear a thong if I want to tan my ass whenever I want!
–Rio del Mar, Aptos, California
Overheard by: Melissa
Girl on the beach: The sand is burning my feet, and I love it!
Friend: There's bird crap on my beach chair, and I love it!
–Sanibel Island, Florida
Girl on drugs, rubbing random person's stomach: Your belly feels like my belly, but on someone else!
–Byron Bay, Australia
