Girl to friend: I don't think I'm going to go into the water. I'm going out later, and sand in my crotch just makes me grumpy.
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Girl to friend: I don't think I'm going to go into the water. I'm going out later, and sand in my crotch just makes me grumpy.
–Santa Monica Beach, California
Little girl, no longer waist-deep in ocean: Mommy, smell my finger.
–Daytona Beach, Florida
Mom, while burying her four-year-old son in the sand: Yo, did you hear what he just said? He said “don't pat too hard or my balls will explode!”
–Rockaway Beach, New York
Overheard by: That's why I'm scared to have kids
Little girl: If a pig spits in your eye, you'll get the flu.
–Takapuna Beach, Auckland, New Zealand
Jogging man to jogging woman: I still have a jiggling six-pack.
–English Bay, Vancouver, Canadia
Overheard by: if it's jiggling, it ain't no six-pack
Drunk girl #1: Oh my god, now I know what you mean about hooking up on a beach.
Drunk girl #2: What?
Drunk girl #1: The sand…it gets everywhere!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah, it is like all in my hair and my purse.
Drunk girl #1: No… I mean *everywhere*.
Drunk girl #2: What?
(pause)
Drunk girl #1: I have sand in my vagina!
–Naples, Florida
Mother to child: What?! Is this writing on your arm? Oh, no…don't say you don't know! Tell me: was it a little magic elf that did this to you?! Was it?!
–Sasco Beach, Fairfield, Connecticut
Overheard by: halliefaith
Freezing 20-something to boyfriend: I can't feel my nipples! I can't feel my nipples! Oh my god! That water's so freaking cold! (to friend) Brenda*! I can't feel my nipples!
–Long Beach, New York
Overheard by: I wish I could
Little boy to friend: Ryan, do you want this hermit crab to pinch your nipples now or later?
–Ocean City, New Jersey
Overheard by: MsKrabs
Stoned surfer #1: Hey, remember that time when that shoe washed up that had a foot in in it?
Stoned surfer #2: Oh, yeah! And that dog got it and was running around with it and wouldn’t let anyone have it? That was hilarious.
Stoned surfer #1: Totally.
–Bolinas, California
Overheard by: didn’t think it was hilarious then or now
