Ass

Loud gay man: Oh my gosh! Last time I saw you I was fucking your ass!

–Hillcrest, California

Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee

Blonde: I just can’t believe Justin Timberlake can dance like that!
Black guy: I can. It’s 2007 — brothers are intelligent and white girls got booty.

–Venice Beach, Florida

Overheard by: slamber

Angry mother: Wash your damn hands!
Dirty son: No!
Angry mother: Wash your damn hands, Justin!
Dirty son: [Sticks his hands in the clogged sink.]Angry mother: Use the fucking soap. You just gave the dog his medicine in his butt.
Dirty son: No way, I already stuck my hands in my mouth.

–In-N-Out Burger, Long Beach, California

Dude #1: You know, that guy we call Ass.
Dude #2: You call the guy Ass? Why?
Dude #1: Because he smells like ass. Do you want to hear the rest of my story or not?

–Plum Island, Massachusetts

Teen boy: Let’s go back in the water since I have sand in my ass.

–San Clemente Beach, California

Overheard by: Wanted to kill this kid

Dad, about bald passerby: That guy is really bald!
Daughter: Dad, you have more hair on your butt than your head.

–Ocean City, Maryland

Overheard by: Ryan

Mother: Do you know how dogs introduce themselves to each other?
Eight-year-old daughter: No, how?
Mother: They sniff each other's butts.

–Guam

Overheard by: Nadine

Girl #1: I cannot believe she thinks she can get away with wearing a thong!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think it’s supposed to be a thong.
Girl #1: You mean her ass ate her bathing suit?

–Point Pleasant, New Jersey

Overheard by: Emily

Girl: Are you going to go back to 24 Hour Fitness?
Guy: Gayness in my anus…

–Pacific Beach, California

Girl: I lost my butthole! Oh, wait, there it is!

–Old Orchard Beach, Maine

Overheard by: Misaki