Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Lady in long line for bathroom: Why you wanna change in there when you got sand up your ass?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island, New York
Mom to young son sliding down wooden handrail: Charlie! Did someone get a splinter in his butt?
–Melbourne Beach, Florida
Overheard by: Sarabeth and Jesse
Beach guy to bikini girl: I'd bend over, but my arse hurts too much.
–Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Felicity
Quick-walking woman leaving voice mail: Hey, it’s me. I need you to call me as soon as you get this. I have never wanted to chop someone’s dick off as much I as I do right now. He is a low-down lying piece of shit, and I hope he fucking dies. I mean, a fucking tractor-trailer could run his fucking sonofabitch ass over and I would be perfectly fine. Okay, talk to you soon, I love you!
–Myrtle Beach, South Carolina
Black woman to toddler running wild: Tyrone, get yo' black ass over here or I will spank you like a white man!
–Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: White girl
Hootchie #1: You can totally see my ass-crack in these jeans — what do you think?
Hootchie #2: Ass-crack is the new cleavage.
–San Diego, California
Overheard by: AP
Black thug: Look at the tits and ass on that one.
White girl to friend: I think he thinks ’cause he’s speaking gangsta I can’t hear him.
–Hamilton Beach, Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Steph
Young boy: Look dad, somebody dropped some peanuts.
Male surfer: Sir, I wouldn’t eat them, I think they came out of someone’s rear end.
Young boy: So these are ass nuts? Awesome!
–Florence, Oregon
Overheard by: Johm