Virginia

Bimbo #1, happily: It's so thick!
Bimbo #2, wide-eyed: Did you slap it?
Bimbo #1: No, I poked it.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Emmy

Husband: Babe, we need to pick up another 12 pack and then go get the kids.
Wife: Finish your beer first.

–Chick’s Beach, Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mike

Amateur marine biologist #1: Why are they called jellyfish?
Amateur marine biologist #2: They taste like jelly. Duh.
Amateur marine biologist #1: Blueberry jelly?
Amateur marine biologist #2: I dunno. Taste it.
Amateur marine biologist #1, moments later: Cherry.

–Chesapeake Bay

Teenage boy: I love grass near the beach. Like, if this grass were on Ft. Rucker it would suck, 'cause it's just grass. But here it's awesome, because you know there's a beach next to it.
Dad: What the hell are you talking about?
Teenage boy: What!

–Pendleton Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Middle child

Blonde: Oh my god, I’ve been watching ‘Shark Week’ on TV, and this guy got his hand bitten off. It was crazy! It was a show about survivors, and they showed the scars and everything!
Brunette: That is crazy. I don’t know how I’d live without my hands. I’d rather have the shark bite off my arm.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Steve

Girl, loudly: I need to pee, but I’m still too close to other people.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: moving away quickly

Drunk guy: She’s done more blow than it snowed last year!

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Audrey

Tourist: What time is high tide today?
Lifeguard: I think it's around 6:30.
Tourist: Why don't you just have it at the same time every day?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?

–Virginia Beach, Virginia

Overheard by: Mandy

Tourist: So, what’s on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that’s not a lake — that’s the Atlantic Ocean.

–Virginia Beach, Virginia