Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Kid #1: Wanna make a sand castle?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go swimming?
Kid #2: I don’t like you.
Kid #1: Wanna go eat ice cream?
Kid #2: Wanna go die?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
Tourist: So, what’s on the other side of the lake?
Lifeguard: Ummm, that’s not a lake — that’s the Atlantic Ocean.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Woman on boardwalk: Yesterday was a bad day. A dead dog washed up on the shore.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Woman: So, since the hurricane is coming, are they going to put up the hurricane shield?
Municipal employee: Hurricane shield?
Woman: Yes, the hurricane shield. Doesn’t the city have a shield you put up to block the wind and such from the hurricane?!
Municipal employee: Ma’am, no such thing exists.
Woman, sarcastically: Well, aren’t you guys just the most prepared beach town in America!
Municipal employee: Have a wonderful day, ma’am.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Cebastian
Guy standing at window: I love tit‐ass!
Guy on boardwalk: Fuck yeah!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Roomate
20‐something girl #1, coming out of water: Oh my god! I got stage fright, I couldn’t go.
20‐something girl #2: Oh, there’s Danielle!! (points down to beach)
20‐something girl #1: As soon as she gets here we’re going back in, I have to pee so badly!
20‐something girl #2: Hey, Danielle!
Danielle: Ohmigod, you guys! My herpes burns so badly!
(all three walks into water)
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Sweedie
Excessively tan man: I don’t trust SPF 14 anyway.
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Jo
College girl to college guys carving dragon in the sand: Ugh! What is wrong with you?! Dragons do not have such muscular arms!
College guy: Ours does!
College girl: I am torn: do I continue arguing about tiny dragon arms as if dragons are real or move on to mocking you for giving your dragon the biceps you wish you had?
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Little girl: Guess what Daddy told me, Mommy!
Mother: What’s that?
Little girl: When you sweat, it’s like your skin is peeing all over you!
–Virginia Beach, Virginia
Overheard by: Mandy
